In This Issue:

1. Quote of the Month
2. Reducing Stress
3. Promoting Responsibility
4. Increasing Effectiveness
5. Improving Relationships
6. Promoting Learning
7. Parenting Without Stress
8. Discipline without Stress (DWS)
9. What People Say

1. Quote of the Month

2. Reducing Stress

My favorite tip of last month was about Benjamin Franklin’s approach to influencing others:

"Benjamin Franklin’s Stress Management Secret"

3. Promoting Responsibility

Switching from
Imposing Discipline to
Promoting Responsibility

No one has an inherent desire to obey—to be told what to do—not even children. However, when responsibility is promoted, obedience follows as a natural by-product.

Of course, learning how to promote responsibility in others takes practice and patience. Going from the mindset of imposing discipline to one of promoting positivity, offering choices, and asking reflective questions takes time. No matter how long you’ve been parenting, teaching or supervising, making the switch to the new methodology will be fraught with ups and downs. The key is to be persistent.

To illustrate how unrealistic it is to expect yourself to make an overnight transformation in your approach, consider this story:

A rich woman walked up to the golf pro at an expensive resort and said, “I’d like for you to teach my friend here how to play golf.”

“Fine,” said the pro, “but how about you?”

“Oh, I learned yesterday!” she replied.

I share this rather humorous story with you to illustrate that learning to promote responsibility in others—rather than obedience—is something like learning to play golf. You can’t master it all in one day. But I can tell you that, like golf, prompting people to act responsibly by focusing on the three principles mentioned above is a skill you can learn and master.

4. Increasing Effectiveness

The following is my response to a comment that success depends on intelligence.

“This is an opinion that cannot be validated. The key to success and good self-esteem is promoted by perseverance and effort. Success has nothing to do with intelligence.

“Success
—like failure—
is an attitude,
not an outcome.”

5. Improving Relationships

If you have “interrupting tendencies,” you are demonstrating that you have poor listening habits. In addition, your continual interrupting demonstrates your lack of interest in others. Basically, it is rather narcissistic in that what you want to say is more important than the other people’s opinions.

.

6. Promoting Learning

Hierarchy of Social Development Poem
By Kelsey Brick, for Cumberland Road Elementary School - Fishers, Indiana

At our school, we are usually
generous and kind,
But sometimes—on occasion,
We leave others behind.

There are ways to be careful
And ways to be cruel;
So let’s find out together
How to act at our school.

Four letters of the alphabet
Can help us live with civility,
Because we learn how to act
With greater responsibility.

To learn about kindness
And order, you will see,
It’s better to be on levels
C and D, rather than A or B.

Level A stands for a way
we should NOT act at school,
For it stands for anarchy
Where no one follows the rules.

It’s so hard to learn
When it is chaos that we choose.
Because with anarchy nobody wins;
We all lose.

Level B stands for choosing
To bother or boss,
Demanding and making
So many others feel cross.

But the worst part of bossing,
The worst part of all,
Is that this type of behavior
Makes others feel small.

Level C is where we cooperate
For it gives us the opportunity,
To really enjoy school
By making it a learning community.

We know what the procedures are,
And order prevails;
For being on this level,
Evens the scales

Now D starts a word
That’s the best way to be;
That word is a concept
called Democracy.

Students follow the teacher
Because it is right;
They take on responsible tasks
Even when others are out of sight.

Let’s make our school
One of the best, my friends;
Because we make choices that lead
To responsible ends.

So, stay far, far away
From Level A and Level B;
Let’s strive to choose Level C,
Or better yet, take the initiative to choose Level D.

7. Parenting Without Stress

The quality of the answer depends on the quality of the question. For example, if you ask your child, “How was summer camp?” you will get an “Okay.” However, asking, “What was the most interesting experience at camp?” is specific and prompts reflection, which in turn will lead to a more meaningful response.

8. Discipline Without Stress (DWS)

Spring Sale:
MY SCHOOL IN-HOUSE STAFF DEVELOPMENT BUNDLE is being discontinued and offered to you at a FIRE SALE PRICE.

There are only 8 DVDs packages left in stock and will not be reproduced. The remaining ones are available at the fire sale investment of $499 rather than $995.

Cool Find...

I was recently introduced to Teachers Pay Teachers by Google Alerts.

Someone had posted a lesson to primary students about teaching “ANARCHY” from the Hierarchy of Social Development. I also found another poster (above).

If you are a teacher, the site may be worth linking to.

By the way, here is how any U.S.A. school can receive free materials.

9. What People Say

"Some years ago, I worked as a principal at a school in northern Indiana. For family reasons, I moved and am now currently a principal at an elementary school in a different location. I've been able to take all of my learning and roll out from my past life to this new life. Our staff has been working hard to learn and implement The Raise Responsibility System in order for our students and staff to have a common language around student behavior and teachers' classroom management. I am so glad to return to what I know works.”

- Lisa Lederach (Fishers, Indiana)

Resources

The Trilogy Is Now Complete!

LIVE Without Stress has joined DISCIPLINE Without Stress, and PARENTING Without Stress.

The eBook, “LIVE WITHOUT STRESS: How to Enjoy the Journey,” is now available on Amazon’s Kindle eBook store for only $9.99.

My Other Books Available on Amazon...

Visit the Without Stress Shop

Questions, Thoughts, or Comments?

Don't be shy, I'd love to hear from you! Feel free to contact me directly at marv@marvinmarshall.com

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