Date: 29.11.2023

The holidays are fast approaching. We will soon enter a shopping frenzy - if you haven't already - quickly followed by a round of overeating parties because of family gatherings.

Rationalizing our reckless behavior around the Christmas season is somehow understandable. We eat a whole pie after dinner, but that's OK. It's OK because we convince ourselves that we'll fix our weight when the new year starts.

However, holidays and our inferior rationalizations are not the reason we remain stuck.

There are two key components working together related to growth that are not commonly discussed:

1. Time.
2. Resources.

Let's first look at time:

To improve your wealth, health, fitness, or your relationship takes time.

It's such a basic concept, yet so commonly overlooked.

Here's a simple example...

I have problematic teeth. I've had problems since I was a child. With age, I learned that if I want to visit the dentist less often, I have to actively take care of my oral health. This takes time. After brushing my teeth, I have to floss, and then I have my mouthwash. Plus, this routine is performed at least two times per day.

From the outset, it doesn't look like that much extra time compared to only brushing my teeth. But it's at least 3 times longer.

Add to that my desire to stay fit by working out, stay smart by reading, and stay disciplined by meticulously planning my days. All of this costs me time. Time I could be spending doing other trendy activities - watching shows, watching short mind-numbing videos, watching how others argue online.

But here enters the second component:

Resources.

Here, by resources, I mostly mean cash.

Let's return to my dental problems for a moment...

The toothpaste I used before I was mindful about my teeth was about $5. The toothpaste I use now costs $15. That's 3 times more. Add to that the other components I use - floss tape, mouthwash, vitamins, and dental gum. That's around $30 per month only for my mouth.

And while these expenses can be labeled as necessities - i.e., I need to do these things if I don't want my teeth to fall. There are other things we do because we want to progress in the world.

Here's an example...

Technically speaking, you can stop educating yourself after a certain age. In fact, a lot of people do just that. They stop reading, learning, and trying out new things because they have a job that pays the bills. Probably not a dream job, but a job that's undemanding and "easy".

Yet, there are a lot of others who would happily spend between $50 and $100 a month on education - sometimes even more.

I'm a member of the latter group.

Probably I don't need another book on writing. But my relentless curiosity on the subject and my desire to improve on the topic transports me to the library - cash in hand - happily exchanging dollar bills for books.

But here's the kicker, even if I do buy the book, this doesn't mean anything - not yet.

I see a lot of people exhausting resources on improving themselves but then not taking the time to actually improve.

Why is that?

Simple, buying things is easy - and fun. Changing your current habits is hard - and unfun.

So, the next time you're about to purchase something. Don't just focus on getting the item/book/course. But also make sure you have enough time to use the item/book/course.

Eliminating the Struggle vs. Overcoming the Struggle

If you tend to overeat with desserts, removing all the sugary foods from your home is not the best thing you can do. Sure, this is the first thing you can do, but the ultimate goal is to stop craving chocolate.

In the first case, you are eliminating the junk that is diminishing your progress. In the second case, you overcome the desire. You no longer want desserts - that's real progress.

You go from, "Hey, I want to eat dessert, but I have zero in the fridge now."

To, "I no longer need desserts to function."

And how do you overcome the struggle?

Visualize what progress looks like.

Imagine how your life - and body - will change when you stop eating sugar.

Once you think about this, consider answering these:

• What type of progress you are trying to make?
• What type of outcome you seek? 
• What are the tradeoffs you are willing to make?

By giving these enough thought, you build a meaningful understanding of what will it take you to change yourself. And if you are motivated enough and disciplined enough, you will proceed with saying something like, "Today's the day that I will stop eating sugar!"

From my desk:

• I Have No Self-Control – What Should I Do? "People often think of self-control as something you either have or you don’t. But the reality is that self-discipline is not a unique object you find somewhere in the arena of life and keep forever by your side. It’s more of a decision..."

From around the web:

• Are You Waiting or Creating? "Instead of creating, we wait. Instead of declaring, we wait. Instead of adapting, we wait. Because of some small, far-away chance that we might be chosen—maybe that client calls or that assignment is approved or that HR manager remembers you exist—we keep a wide-open calendar. Hey everyone, we say. Can't you see I'm completely available?"

In the next issue, we'll talk about the unusefulness of useful content.

Talk soon,

Ivaylo Durmonski