In reply to your letter of the 23rd of Cheshvan in which you write about the difficulties you have encountered regarding a Shidduch: You also write that you read in many sefarim and tractates that one should seek a wife from a prominent family, etc., as well as an individual who is an אשה כשרה, i.e., distinguished in her own right.
The saying of our Sages that 'All daughters of Israel are beautiful', is well known. Understandably, true beauty in the words of our Sages refers to spiritual beauty. Also known is the saying of our Sages (Yevamos 63a), Chassan means to descend a level and marry a wife.
Although it is surely true that all the qualities you have enumerated in your letter are to be sought, it is also understandable that there is no comparison between seeking [with a stringent eye] and seeking specifically with a kind eye.
In accordance to that which you write, I would advise you to transfer the search for a shidduch to the directorship (hanhalah) of Tomchei Temimim in which you learn.
We verily observe that when one is not overly particular about lesser matters, and surely when one is not overly particular about trivial and trifling matters, but rather one seeks characteristics of Yiras Shomayim, tznius and the like, then G‑d helps the person succeed that in addition to obtaining that which is of foremost importance, one also obtains that which is [of] secondary import.
It goes without saying that if with regard to every matter one must do all he can to increase G‑d's assistance, this surely applies to something as vital as a shidduch concerning which the verse states, A wise woman is granted by G‑d.
Increasing one's performance of Torah and mitzvos is the way to increase Divine assistance, increasing one's learning of both Toras HaNigleh and Toras HaChassidus, performing mitzvos b'hidur, as well as influencing one's friends that they too act in a like manner.