How are my wonderful sycophants?

I must start this message with an apology. 

To all you fuken legends who have been emailing me with so many kind words, demanding release dates, asking precarious questions, demanding release dates, giving out about my cat, and also demanding release dates. I am so sorry, I’ve not replied in so fuken long. I’m terrible. I’ve just been hiding away, writing hard, trying to get this stinking book finished. So far, I’m so many months behind in replies its overwhelming. I pledge to get to you guys. I really will. Because I love engaging with you all. Especially when practicing the art of avoiding any talk of release dates.

Anyway, first time in three years I’ve actually taken a full holiday. Without thinking of fuken Spark City for a while. It was so great having my mind again. Having dreams not involving horses and Alphas and card games. It was wonderful. I was happy. For a time.

And then I came back and have been hard at it and its like I never took a holiday and I’m so tired and my back is hurting again, yesterday I fell asleep at the computer and had a dream involving pistachio nuts or some shit and I woke up and went back to writing and I miss my holiday, I miss my Skyrim. I miss heated debates about what type of rain is the best (it’s the wet type by the way.)

Now that I’m back in my cage all miserable and shit, but writing a little better than before, I’ll actually give a proper update on Actions of Gods.

I’m at 200,000 words so far.

Fuk me, that is a lot of words and all. Fuk me, I’ve cursed a lot in this email too. Spark City was only 148,000. I’m not too far off March of Magnus with 215,000 and it’ll most certainly go longer than Outcasts which was 238,000… I’m sounding like such a numbers nerd here. It is wrong how much word counts get me excited? Sometimes I dress them up in a wig and ask them to speak in a French accent. Hey, don’t shame me!!! We’ve all got our things.

You know, it only seems like yesterday since I started the first chapter where Erroh gets taken by those Alien dinosaurs and becomes an interstellar sheriff seeking out injustices across the cosmos. Shit, spoiler alert. Ah, it’s the first chapter, hardly a major leak. I’m sure there was more but I left my notes somewhere downstairs. I don’t know.

I do remember they told me Spark City is going on offer from tomorrow in US and UK…sigh… again. So get your friends and family to buy it as a gift for themselves. They’ll put a link in here. Or over here? Perhaps they’ll put it here? Or maybe there’s no deal at all, and I’m just working my word count. Getting that wig out. Or maybe they’ll just slide it in right here? They definitely won’t post the link here. Nope. Only idiots would link it there. I’m quite confident they won’t put it here at all either. That would be madness. Utter madness. Like eating soup. Or what about here? 

This space however, is reserved for no linkage. This is a link free zone. Don’t guys! I fuken know you want to put it in here. Don’t you dare… ugh, you’ve put it in already haven’t you? Go play in the wet rain you bastards!

Right, I’m going back to look at photos of my holiday. They’re mostly screen shots from Skyrim.

Take care of yourselves, and each other.

Cheers the Rob

Aka Zim Zam,

(but I prefer the Rob.)