| First Unitarian Connection |
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Note: When the newsletter is sent via email, the text may be truncated. To be sure you are seeing the entire newsletter, please click on the "view in browser" link near the top of the message or scroll to the bottom where it says [Message clipped] and click on: View entire message
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| Daylight Savings (set your clocks ahead one hour before bed on Saturday 3/9/24) |
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| Sundays at First Unitarian Church |
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Sunday, March 10 - 11:00 am
"Chiron Redux: Returning to the Wounded Healer" (Rev. Diana's final sermon at 1UC)
Join us in person or watch on YouTube.
Rev. Diana’s final sermon, a love letter to First Unitarian, its past and its future. This service will include the minister’s leavetaking ritual and the child dedication of Asami Sekine.
Participating in today’s service:
Service Leaders: Rev. Dr. Diana Davies, Lead Minster, Tim Atkins, DLRE; Choir Director: Chukwuebuka "Ebuka” Ezeakacha; Accompanist: Steven Elkins Kennedy; Music: 1UC Choir; Technical Support: Tammy Epperson and Ellisya Ravencroft; Ushering Team: Members of the Radical Welcoming Team
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Child Care and Nursery
The Childcare Rooms are open from 10:00 am to 12:30 pm each Sunday morning. (10:00 am to 11:00 am for childcare for any adult programming happening and 11:00 am to 12:30 pm for worship.)
Childcare will be taking place in the nursery and attached preschool room.
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Sunday, March 10, 10:00 am
Sunday Morning Meditation (In-Person)
Please join us for meditation practice in the Buddhist tradition (lower level, next to Corley Commons).
All are welcome; no meditation experience necessary!
For more information contact Lori Jervis.
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Sunday, March 10 - 10:00 am
Sunday Morning Coffee Hour (in-person)
Join us for “Morning Coffee Hour.” In addition to our wonderful Meditation Sunday mornings before service, you’re now also welcome to hang out in Daniel Hall from 10:00 am - 11:00 am, grab a donut and a cup of coffee, and chat with your fellow congregants about whatever’s on your mind. Come back after the service for more social time.
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Upcoming Sunday Morning Services - 11:00 am
March
March 17 -"Becoming in Community: Claiming Relational Power"
with guest minister, Rev. Jonalu Johnstone
March 24 - Welcoming transitional minister Rev. Suzanne Redfern-Campbell
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On Saying Goodbye Well
“After Running Through the Thistles the Hard Part Begins” is an essay by Rev. Dr. Mark Morrison Reed that provides guidance to UU ministers on how to leave a congregation well. The essay revolves around these three difficult truths:
- You will love your parishioners with all your heart but never befriend them.
- You will pour out your lifeblood for the community but never settle there.
- You shall die to the congregation so that the ministry might live.
During my candidating week in the spring of 2018, I mentioned multiple times that I wanted to be your minister, not your friend. This was a refrain I maintained after I was called to serve here. I know some of you disagreed with this approach, but it came directly from my training and the wisdom of great ministers like Rev. Morrison Reed. He writes, “We are not as free to share all aspects of our lives and ourselves. Nor can we make friends with whom we please, for that would create two classes of parishioners -- the chosen and the not. Finally, when our ministries come to an end so must the relationships, lest we take up space the next ministry needs if it is to take root.”
Rev. Morrison Reed goes on to quote from Mary Oliver’s poem, “In Blackwater Woods”: “To live in this world, you must be able to do three things: to love what is mortal, to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it, and, when the time comes to let it go, to let it go.” Although I worked to model and maintain healthy boundaries, I have loved this congregation with all my heart and given you my best: my authentic and vulnerable self, my hardest work, my commitment, and even my creative mistakes. But now the time has come to let you go. To set aside the “ethereal cape” of minister so that the ministry of First Unitarian can continue to thrive.
The UU Ministers Association guidelines are quite clear on what is expected of a parting minister: “There should be no intentional or ministerial contact between a departing minister and members, staff, or clients of congregations … they have served until there can be a covenant expressed in a Letter of Understanding between predecessor and subsequent ministers. … The provisions of this covenant should be arrived at through conversation and negotiation with an understanding that the well-being of the congregation and the new ministry is of primary importance.” In other words, from the moment I end my ministry at First Unitarian, my connection to this congregation will be through its future ministers and there can be no significant contact until I can establish a covenant with your new minister(s). (I say “significant” contact because there is always the chance we will run into each other at a session during General Assembly, for example. In that case, there is no need to turn away and pretend we don’t see each other! Such wonderful chance encounters are one of the joys of our small and deeply interconnected faith.)
What does all this mean, practically speaking? It means:
• I will not participate in memorial services or any other ceremonies for First Unitarian members and friends unless I am already in covenant with your new minister and am invited by that minister. Please do not put your new minister into an awkward position by inviting me first and then seeking their permission.
• I will not accept any invitations for social interaction (even outside of Oklahoma City) unless I am already in covenant with your new minister, and this meets with the guidelines of that agreement.
• Instead of “unfriending” all 1UCOKC members on social media, I will be “unfollowing” you and creating a “restricted” category so that I do not see your posts (to avoid the temptation of offering pastoral care, even virtually) and so that you only see the posts that I make public, until such a time as I have been able to enter into a covenantal agreement with your future ministers. Jim and I have created Facebook and Instagram accounts for our farm (“La Granjita de Taos”) and you are welcome to follow us there.
• In the event of a chance encounter (at GA or at a restaurant in Taos, for example), I will not discuss church “politics” or any other aspect of congregational life at First Unitarian with you.
• If you need a letter of reference or similar kind of support from me, please reach out through your minister.
I write all of this not to appear harsh, but to establish clear guidelines so that your new minister can have all the space they need without any interference from me and so that I’m also able to let go of this beautiful community that I’ve loved so much, in a healthy way.
Although we will be apart, please know that I will continue to hold this congregation in my heart and in my prayers. As it says in that song from the musical Wicked: because I knew you, I have been changed for good. – Rev. Diana
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Supporting What We Love
If you’ve already made your pledge – Thank you!
So that the congregation’s leaders can draft the 2024-25 budget in time for the spring congregational meeting, we need to receive all pledges for the next church year (July 1, 2024 - June 30, 2025) within the next week.
If you are facing financial difficulties or uncertain circumstances and can’t pledge for this coming year, we hope you will reach out to Rev. Diana for a waiver, no later than March 14. (Note: all waivers are confidential.) As a reminder, membership requires making a pledge or having a waiver on file.
Pledges can be paid by check, credit card, or automatic withdrawal.
You can pledge online by using the QR code above or go directly to: https://1ucokc.breezechms.com/...
Alternatively, you may mail in the paper pledge form that you received in the mail, place it in the collection plate during a service, or contact our Office Administrator, Marlies Grogg (405-232-9224; mgrogg@1uc.org).
Thank you for all you do for our beloved First Unitarian Church of Oklahoma City!
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Online Auction begins Sunday, April 21!
Auction Team!
Dear Fellow UUs,
It is that time of year again…auction time! The auction team is revving up for another successful year. There were so many wonderful donations last year, let’s keep up the momentum! Would you be willing to donate a brunch, lunch or dinner? Visit to the zoo or local museum? Music or theatre performance? Of
course the time honored traditions of food and service donations are all welcome. The possibilities are endless so we are hoping for a great donation turnout. We are asking that we mostly limit donations to activities and service items rather than “things.” If you have a valuable painting or expensive jewelry, we can consider that. But we decided to not take smaller items this year. Thank you for your understanding.
We are going to have both an online silent auction from Sunday, April 21st to Friday, May 3rd, then an in-person auction/party on Saturday, May 4th with some big items on the ticket! Given the time frame, we would appreciate all donations be emailed by Sunday, April 14th so there is time to complete the catalogue offerings.
More information about the when, where and how of this year’s auction, including how to submit your donation will be in the newsletter soon, so please stay tuned!
Many thanks from your auction committee!
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News from Befrienders
Befrienders relies upon donations. Those donations are used to provide cards, stamps, and items for memorial receptions. If you wish to make a donation, please send a check and put Befrienders on the purpose line of your check. Thank you.
Befrienders is ready to assist members of our church who are recovering from surgeries or illnesses by offering cards of well-wishes, meal trains, transportation to church or medical appointments as well as arranging for visitations, and we provide the receptions following memorial services.
Befrienders have teams assigned for specific roles.
- Lana Henson leads our Cards of Well Wishes team and can always use extra hands to write cards to our members who are ill or who are recovering from surgeries.
- Ginny Boykin leads our Memorial Receptions team. She calls on folks to bring food for the receptions.
- Patti Kate leads our Transportation team and is looking for folks to be added to her list of people willing to be drivers for anyone needing a ride to a doctor’s appointment, therapy appointment, etc. She is actively recruiting for folks to be on her team.
- Kathy Nyswonger leads our Visitation team. She, along with others, actively go out and visit with members who are unable to get to church or some of the social events. She is actively recruiting for folks to be on her team.
- Meal Trains – we don’t have a team leader yet for this team of people willing to step up and provide a meal to an individual or family. Much of the work of the leader is organizing the Meal Train on line. If you are interested, please contact Susan Bishop for more info,
If you are interested in joining any of these teams, please let Susan Bishop know at sdbishop50@gmail.com.
The next meeting of Befrienders is Thursday, March 14 at noon in the Eddy Room.
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First Unitarian Cares!
If you (or someone you care about in our community) would like a caring card, a ride, a meal delivered to your home, a prayer, or a pastoral visit, please fill out a pastoral care request form on our website: https://1uc.org/connect/pastor... or contact Rev. Diana or Susan Bishop (chair of the Befrienders).
Please contact Rev. Diana directly if you need financial assistance. The Minister's Discretionary Fund is available for anyone who needs emergency financial support. In the past, the fund has been used to help cover rent, groceries, fuel, home repairs, medical costs and other needs. Allocations from this fund are completely confidential.
Requests for support from this fund have risen significantly. If you have financial capacity, please consider making a gift to the Minister's Discretionary Fund. Thank you!
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| Adult Education Classes & Courses |
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Every Wednesday - 6:00 pm (no meditation on March 6)
Wednesday Night Meditation
Interested in meditation but can't quite make it on Sunday mornings? Or maybe you just want more meditation? We are adding a Wednesday night session to our schedule (6:00 pm - 7:00 pm) in the meditation room in the lower level (Corley Commons).
For more information contact Larry Little.
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March Change for Change
For the month of March our Change for Change partner is Pivot.
Mission: They believe that no youth should have to navigate live alone.
Pivot Advocates for those in need, those disadvantaged, those who struggle, those who may be unseen and unheard. This is a time of great opportunity to do it in a different and better way. They will listen. They will be a voice when appropriate. They will be an active ally. We will be part of the solution.
Pivot has supported youth and the community for more than 50 years and they will continue to meet the needs now and into the future.
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CHANGE FOR CHANGE needs your help. Did you know that anyone can suggest a worthy local non-profit in our community? Do you know how?
- Check out the 1uc.org website and click on the justice tab
- Then click on Community Partnerships and click on the application in green in the middle of the page.
- Submit the application to Deborah Shinn or Anne Murray, or leave it in the office Social Justice mailbox. Or you can email the completed application to them. They be found in Breeze.
WE APPRECIATE IT WHEN CONGREGANTS NOMINATE WORTHY COMMUNITY PARTNERS. THANK YOU!
RAMADAN CELEBRATED AT FIRST UNITARIAN! Mark your calendars now for the annual celebration of Ramadan, sponsored by the Dialogue Institute of the Raindrop Turkish House. The date is March 30th
and doors open to Danial Hall at 7:00 pm. Our Muslim friends will provide all the food and an explanation about Ramadan. You don’t want to miss this sacred Islamic event which is family friendly at our church. Reservations are required so please reserve your seats with Susan Bishop at sdbishop50@gmail.com. Deadline for reservations is Monday, March 25th.
NEWS FROM UUSC (UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST SERVICE COMMITTEE): Last month, with our partners at the American Friends Service Committee, we shook the web across the country with actions focused on corporate funders of Atlanta’s Cop City, like Bank of America and Home Depot. Thank you to those of you who wrote letters and showed up from Oakland to Atlanta! As we continue to organize against the Cop City being built in Atlanta, we know that other expensive and militarized police training facilities are proposed in 47 states from Maryland to California. This week, another proposed cop city was stalled after organizing led by Freedom Inc. succeeded in winning a city council vote in Fitchburg, Wisconsin. Together, we keep shaking our part of the web that is, indeed, interconnected,
NEWS FROM CAIR (Council on American Islamic Relations) "As for me and my state, we will serve the Lord," he said, drawing applause from a crowd gathered for the Oklahoma Governor's Prayer Breakfast. Just a few hours later, the governor's remarks were discussed at an Interfaith Impact Luncheon, but instead of applause, several speakers voiced their disapproval over Stitt's wording.
NEWS FROM OK POLICY INSTITUTE: 180,000
Number of Oklahoma children — 19% or nearly 1 in 5 — living in households where, in the previous 12 months, there was an uncertainty of having, or an inability to acquire, enough food for all household members because of insufficient money or other resources. [KIDS COUNT]
Nex Benedict's school will be investigated over possible federal civil rights violations: The U.S. Department of Education will launch a civil rights investigation into Nex Benedict’s suburban Tulsa school district, the school confirmed Friday. The investigation will look into allegations that Owasso Public Schools failed to adequately address reports of sex-based harassment. [The Oklahoman]
• U.S. Department of Education opens investigation into Owasso Public Schools [Tulsa World]
• U.S. Education Department to investigate Owasso Public Schools [Public Radio Tulsa]
• Federal Regulators to Review Nonbinary Student’s Death in Oklahoma [New York Times]
Are LGBTQ+ hate crimes increasing? Advocates view Nex Benedict's death as latest example: The FBI's 2022 crime reported showed that anti-LGBTQ+ hate crime reports increased from the previous year, with a 13.8% hump in reports based on sexual orientation and a 32.9% increase in reported bate crimes based on gender identity. [The Oklahoman]
• Opinion: Oklahoma Republicans condemning LGBTQ hate speech is nice. But prove you actually mean it. [Janelle Stecklein / Oklahoma Voice]
• Opinion: The world Nex Benedict deserved isn't hard to create. It just takes love and respect. [Sara Pequeño & Rex Huppke / USA Today]
• Opinion: Nex Benedict mourned across the nation: Oklahoma teen's life a conduit for outrage, healing [The Oklahoman]
NEWS FROM FREEDOM OKLAHOMA: Ahead of Trans Week of Visibility and Action and Trans Day of Visibility, we hoped to talk about the ways 2STGNC+ (Two Spirit, transgender, gender non-conforming+) folks find and create joys in a state, in a country, in a timeline where we are not afforded safety when visible. Instead, we are grappling with the rage and grief of how we’re supposed to wake up and fight for survival in a state that in the face of a dead Nex Benedict has continued their attack on the safety of 2SLGBTQ+ Oklahomans, especially 2STGNC+ youth. WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT THIS?
1UC Recycles! Look for the blue bins lined with plastic bags throughout the church. Deposit your paper, cans, and plastic bottles. The kitchen and Daniel Hall have compost buckets that can take food waste including meat and even napkins! There is a separate blue bin for glass in the hallway west of Daniel Hall.
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Help Us Keep Our Building Safe
Please, if you exit the building through a door that is locked, make sure that the door is completely closed and locked behind you. If you are one of the last people out of the building, please help us make sure that all doors are fully closed and locked. And if you are holding an event at the church, please do not prop exterior doors open or unlock them and leave them unattended. And when you are done, don't forget to lock the door!
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Current Safety Level: Masks Are Encouraged
Masks are optional at all church events but are always welcome and encouraged.
- If you choose not to wear a mask, it is especially important that you do not attend services or events if you have any symptoms typical of COVID, flu, or RSV. Please stay home and join us online.
- Please continue to wash your hands frequently. And please be sure to throw away used tissues. Don't leave them in the pews.
- No one should ever be pressured into removing their mask. Please honor everyone's choice.
- If you haven't yet had your latest COVID booster please get it now!
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First Unitarian Covenant of Healthy Communication
“We need not think alike to love alike.” One of our Unitarian Universalist ancestors, Francis David, spoke those words more than 400 years ago to describe the foundation of our unity as a religious community. To this end, we, the people of the First Unitarian Church of Oklahoma City, agree to the following:
* I tell my own story and let others tell theirs.
* I use “I” statements when expressing my own views, always mindful that my thoughts, opinions, and experiences may not be shared by others
* I check the accuracy of my perceptions and assumptions.
* I avoid “awfulizing” negative experiences.
* I say what needs to be said to the one who needs to hear it.
Communicate directly with the person or group involved, instead of gossiping or speaking negatively about others in the wider community
* I devote at least as much energy to careful listening as to careful speaking.
Listen actively and seek to understand the perspectives and opinions of others
Be curious, appreciative, and informed about perspectives that differ from my own.
Recognize and honor the diversity of beliefs and spiritual paths within our community, including the words and ways people choose to express their spirituality
Honor the contributions and needs of those who have been historically marginalized in the larger world and in our congregation and seek growth in our ability to be welcoming.
* If something prompts anger in me, I report it honestly in a way that invites positive solutions.
Be forgiving and loving when I or others make mistakes
Apologize, when warranted, and seek to make amends
Call on congregational resources when help is needed
* I refrain from blaming and shaming.
Assume that others act with good intentions
Be respectful and kind in our words, tone, and body language
Use email, social media and other forms of electronic communication with respect, kindness, and special care.
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Note: Most meetings continue to meet via Zoom but some groups may elect to meet in the building. Please contact the meeting organizer directly if you are uncertain of the location.
- Sunday Morning Meditation – Every Sunday at 10:00 am, Meditation Room - Corley Commons (contact Lori Jervis for information - see article above)
- Tuesday Discussion Group – Every Tuesday, 11:00 am (contact Ron Wasson for information - see article above)
- Bell Choir Rehearsal – Every Wednesday, 5:45 pm, Sanctuary (contact LaDonna Hunt for information)
- Wednesday Night Meditation - Beginning January 3 - Every Wednesday, 6:00 pm, Meditation Room - Corley Commons (contact Larry Little for information)
- Choir Rehearsal – Every Wednesday, 7:00 pm, Sanctuary (contact 'Ebuka Ezeakacha for information)
- Membership Committee Meeting - Thursday, March 7, 6:00 pm (contact Lorriana Lee-Knapp for information)
- UU Book Club - Thursday, March 7, 7:00 pm (contact Steve Gryglewicz for information)
- Fiber Connections - Sunday, March 10, 12:00 pm, Eddy Room (contact Paula Geisinger for information)
- Racial Justice Meeting - Wednesday, March 13, 11:00 am (contact Becky Tallent for information)
- Befrienders - Thursday, March 14, 12:00 pm, Eddy Room (contact Susan Bishop for information)
- Exploring Spirituality - Friday, March 15, 7:00 pm (contact Lu Ann Faulkner-Schneider for information)
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If you have a newsletter article you would like to submit please email your article to mgrogg@1uc.org no later than Tuesday (the day before the newsletter goes out) by 5:00 pm.
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**********************************************************************************
In order to save printing and mailing costs and to conserve natural resources, the Annual Report will not be mailed by default to all congregants. Instead, it is available online. Please contact Marlies Grogg (mgrogg@1uc.org) if you would like to receive a hard copy of the Annual Report.
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Did you know that you can access all church policies and procedures as well as Board meeting minutes on our new website? Just go to 1uc.org, and click on the "members" link in the upper right-hand corner (just to the left of the Facebook and other social media icons). This will open a page that says "Protected: Members." The password is @600NW13thSt [Note: the password is case-sensitive; do not put in additional punctuation or spaces.]
From here, click on "church documents." All official policies and procedures can be found in the "policies" folder. The bylaws and Board of Trustees meeting minutes are in the "governance" folder. Please disregard the "website SOPs" folder, which is for administrative use only.
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CHURCH STAFF
Lead Minister - Rev. Diana K. Davies
Director of Lifespan Religious Exploration - Tim Atkins
Choir Director - Chukwuebuka ('Ebuka) G. Ezeakacha
Accompanist - Steven Elkins Kennedy
Office Administrator - Marlies Grogg
BOARD OF TRUSTEES 2023-2024
President of the Congregation – Marcia Woodward
President Elect – Cathy Webster
Immediate Past President – Marshal Gimpel
Clerk – Deborah Shinn
Treasurer – Ron Wasson
Clare Auwarter Emily Hildebrandt Lorriana Lee-Knapp Larry Little Ann Meeks Doug Vincent
Committee on Ministry
Suzanne Broadbent Lori Jervis Liz Pillar-Little John Schneider Tom Peryam Derrick Wagner
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