Hi ,
This weekend my sister and brother-in-law visited us (which was SO lovely, especially after moving to the Bay Area shortly before the pandemic), and I spent more time in San Francisco (only about 10 miles away from my house in Berkeley) during their visit than I have in the entire last year combined!
Even though I love the city, it’s just inconvenient enough to get there that, in the routine of daily life, I almost never make time for SF adventures.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with this, but it’s a symbol of a larger pattern.
I have a tendency to save nice things “for a special occasion”, which usually means they either go bad (if perishable), get forgotten about indefinitely, or feel like they’re just not allowed.
Put more simply, it can feel like I’m not allowed to indulge in something pleasurable “just because”.
This can extend to not making time for fun things because they’re “not productive”, and thus not as important as Important Work™, a very ingrained message from toxic productivity culture.
I also grew up hearing a lot of disparaging words about wasting time, when doing something pretty innocuous like watching a movie on a Saturday morning.
Sometimes our creative practices can seem to fall under this “unproductive” category - because they’re fun or pleasurable (I know, not 100% of the time) they don’t seem as worthwhile as more concrete activities that allow us to declare something as “done” or lead very directly to income.
As I know you know, creative work is typically not very linear, so we have to be process-oriented, not only goal-oriented.
That can be a tough sell when we’re steeped in all of those societal messages about output and productivity, while everything seems urgent!
For me, this sometimes looks like not wanting to just spend time freely improvising at the piano “for fun”, in favor of practicing for a gig or trying to hone a certain skill that I “should be” better at. (Also, my “shoulds” often come from imagined external voices that aren’t even real, but that’s another topic for another day…)
Following your curiosity and intuition, even when it doesn’t logically make sense, can be the thing that leads you to your most favorite creations!
Intellectually, I know this to be true, but in practice, it’s not always easy to do. So, let’s start small.
I dare (invite) you to spend 15 minutes (or more if that works) doing non-goal oriented creativity this week, something that has a bit of an exciting spark for you.
Let me know how it goes!
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