Date: 26.01.2022

Hello and welcome!

So yesterday, I announced my first guide in a new category which I gallantly labeled Mortal Guides.

The guide is called: Follow Yourself: The Fine Art of Using Social Media Without Being Used by Social Media

I'm not going to persuade you to buy you. I hope you don't.

I hope you don't have a problem with social media preventing you from experiencing the nuances of real life.

But if you do need help leaving the virtual cage we accidentally lock ourselves in, I am positive that there's a lot the guide can teach you.

As the subtitle hints, the core goal is to understand why you are using social media - what problems you are trying to avoid - and from there, create a more manageable relationship with the online world.

The manual is just over 13,000 words. Theoretically, you can finish it in just a few hours. Yet, I believe a slower approach will be better.

If you're interested in the guide alone, you can become a monthly member and get access. If you want to commit to a year full of learning, you can consider the yearly membership and save some $$$.

Check the full benefits, here.

Here's the rest of the newsletter:

• Can’t Hurt Me by David Goggins: Can’t Hurt Me is a book that tells a brutally honest story of the tough life of David Goggins. How he transitioned from an overweight thug to an unbreakable Navy SEAL who’s running 100 miles for breakfast.

Full text for members only.

Interesting books I recently added to my reading list (and hopefully will read at some point):

• Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence by Daniel Goleman: Now, more than ever, we need sharp focus. This book will show you how to focus better in our era of unstoppable distractions.
• How to Do Nothing by Jenny Odell: The reason we are unable to do the things we want it's because we are tied up in the destructive social media and the endless news cycle. Find peace and comfort with this book about doing nothing.
• In Praise of Slowness: Challenging the Cult of Speed by Carl Honoré: In essence, this book is about how to slow down and enjoy life in our accelerated culture.

Interesting words from books and around the web:

• Agape (noun): The highest form of love. Selfless, sacrificial, and unconditional love. Persists no matter the circumstances.
• Saudade (noun): A nostalgic longing to be near again to something or someone that is distant.
• Flawsome (adjective): An individual who embraces their "flaws" and knows they are awesome regardless.

Julian B. Rotter

Born in Brooklyn New York on October 22nd of 1916, Julian Rotter was one of the most cited American psychologists of the 20th century.

Big Idea: Locus of Control

The term locus of control refers to an individual's perception about how much, or how little, control they have over the outcome of events in their lives.

A person with a high internal locus of control perceives himself as capable. He takes responsibility. He is convinced that his efforts are the reason he's progressing (or not) in life.

Conversely, a person with a high external locus of control beliefs that he can't change what happens to him. If something good occurs, it's not because of his skills. It's because of luck. If a bad thing happens, it's destiny.

Our locus of control influences a lot how we respond to events and also determines our level of motivation. Having a primarily external locus of control will prevent you from acting because you won't think that you can make a difference. Oppositely, being a person with an internal locus of control will give you the strength and motivation to change your situation when needed.

From my desk:

• Mental Models For Problem-Solving: "To solve problems faster and better. It’s not enough to have experience in a given field. After all, life places us in all kinds of situations. Incidents where we don’t always have prior knowledge, but we still need to act in some way."
• Mental Models in Psychology: "To uncover the ugliness in the way we think and behave. So we can become not only better parents, leaders, partners, but better people in general. We should study human psychology. Understand not only how we behave. But why do we behave the way we do."

From around the web:

• How to Become the Best in the World at Something: "Trying to be the best at one thing isn’t the smartest path to success. Instead, you should put your effort into mastering a combination of skills. The solution is skill stacking..."
• The Magnificent Bribe: "For Mumford, the bribe was not primarily about getting people into the habit of buying new gadgets and machines. Rather it was about incorporating people into a world that complex technological systems were remaking in their own image."

Work with nature instead of against it:

There are always obstacles when we try to make progress. Too often, though. We unconsciously sabotage ourselves.

We try to convince people to change their old beliefs. Fight impossible to win battles with institutions. Simply put, we go against the current, instead of using it to move forward. Making what we try to achieve even harder.

But we can take a different approach.

Consider boats. They are designed to work with nature instead of against it. Instead of fighting the wind, a sailboat uses the power of the wind to ride the waves.

In the same fashion. We can take actions that work better with our current reality. For example, don't try to convince people that what they think is outdated - they won't listen. Think of ways to tailor your idea to what they already know.

I wanted to end this particular edition with an inspiring video about the creative process of a great artist. A person with whom I recently had the pleasure of exchanging several emails. You can see his work here: Mike Ryczek.

Talk soon,

Ivaylo Durmonski

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