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Happy February, Beautiful Women!

In this newsletter issue, we’ll talk about doing writing your way (even if it’s Binge Writing), giving a creative gift to yourself for Valentine’s Day, and what’s happening with Stella.

Binge Writing

Years ago I dated a man who was recently separated after a long relationship. He asked me for advice about doing his laundry.

“I just throw everything in the machine with some soap,” I told him. “Seems to work.”

“But when I do that, my underwear turns pink,” he said.

“Yeah, so what?” I asked.

He soon found a girlfriend who, bless her heart, explained Best Laundry Practices to him but did not wash his clothes.

I remembered that episode this morning while I was – you guessed it – sorting dirty laundry by color. Even though laundry is usually my partner’s chore, and he does a great job.

Hmmm… could my unnatural diligence have had something to do with the fact that I was supposed to be writing?

Like lots of people, I have a hard time glueing my butt to the chair, turning on the computer, turning off internet distractions, and getting down to the nitty gritty of churning out words. Yes, my book about writing (Aphrodite’s Pen: The Power of Writing Erotica after Midlife) blithely advises scheduling an hour a day and sticking to it. Just like every other writing coach advises.

So now a confession: I am a binge writer. Lock me in a room for twelve hours with some trail mix and sparkling water and I am good for thousands of words. But this business of writing regularly an hour a day does not work for me. I get antsy, I cheat and look at social media, I become way too interested in the view out my office window. One hour just does not feel like enough time to really immerse myself in words.

Yes, certainly, there are writers who write every day, on a schedule, and that is great. If it works for you, keep doing it! It’s a guarantee of steady progress in your craft, and continuous production. A daily practice also makes sure you actually become a writer, because, as we all know, a writer is someone who writes.

But not every writer does it that way. The poet Audre Lorde, who worked in a hospital, used to write lines of poetry on scraps of paper in between patients. Hemingway sometimes lay in bed all morning, coming up with just the right word (one word!). Zora Neal Hurston wrote her masterpiece, Their Eyes Were Watching God, in six weeks between jobs as a hotel maid.

So my new advice, fresh off the press, is pay attention to what works for you, even if it is different from the guidance you hear and read. If you need total silence to write, turn everything off. If you are distracted by the internet, by all means unplug it. And if, like me, you need the luxury of a big block of time, plan that block once or twice a week, instead of booking an hour a day. You may be amazed by how much you accomplish when you clear your schedule of everything but writing.

It is your life, your muse, your call. Do it your way.

Valentine’s Day

This month for Valentine’s Day, how about giving yourself the present of trying something new. Especially something playful.

If you have never written a limerick, they are fun and quick to write, and a great way to capture a bawdy thought about a sexy older woman. The basic rules are:

  • Five lines
  • First, second, and fifth lines rhyme, and each has about eight syllables
  • Second and third lines rhyme, and each has about five syllables

The rhythm of a limerick is captured in this example:

An elderly lady from York

Was known to eat soup with a fork.

She explained to her lover.

In case I discover

A message enclosed in a cork.”

So silly! And why not? Our creativity is play, and play is essential to learning and growing at every age.

For more about limerick writing, including sexier examples, see the Games chapter of Aphrodite’s Pen: The Power of Writing Erotica after Midlife.

Maybe there is something else you are itching to try. Could be writing with your non-dominant hand. Could be taking inspiration from a random Tarot card. Why not now? Please have fun with whatever writing adventures you embark upon this Valentine’s Day.

Learn How to Write A Story in a Week.

Try my FREE mini-writing class online to develop a story (sexy or other) from start to finish in a week. 

Each day Monday through Friday, you'll get an email prompt to write about a different story element – character, setting, sensory experience – and then at the end of the week on Saturday & Sunday, I will guide you to bring together the week's elements into a draft of a finished story. 

It’s a fun and easy way to start to write a story, and you can start start here.  

Please share with your friends.

New From Stella's Blog
Make Revolution Not Porn

I don’t watch porn.

Not even the home-grown, fully consensual, amateur porn on Cindy Gallop’s website, MakeLoveNotPorn (MLNP). So I might seem an unlikely fan of Ms. Gallop, the almost-60-year-old former advertising executive whose main claim to fame is starting MLNP. And after being at the receiving end of various campaigns against fat people, white women, and Boomers, I am also uncomfortable with labeling and writing off everyone in a group of people.
Read More ....

Image of home page with superimposed picture of founder Michale Di Carlo
Including Ourselves in the Circle of Care

Three of my children were preschoolers at the same time. If you’ve lived through that phase of life, you probably don’t remember much, because you were too busy coping with each moment to reflect and store away memories. I do recall women whose children were already grown telling me to take care of myself; that I would be a better mother to my children if I reserved time for self-nurture. I didn’t even have time to tell them I didn’t have the time. I didn’t even think I had time to get annoyed. But given that their words have stuck with me since the 1980s, it’s a good bet I was irritated.

Read More .....

More Blog Posts

What’s Stella Up To?

What a terrific experience the launch of Aphrodite’s Pen has been these past four months. So many new connections and opportunities for collaboration! And more interviews, guest blogs, and stories to come.

Meanwhile I am practicing what I preach by writing and trying new things. I’m revising the screenplay of Brilliant Charming Bastard for submission to Meryl Streep’s Writer’s Lab. I’m also taking that same material and using it as the backbone for a novel of the same name (Don’t people usually write the novel first and adapt it as a screenplay? Well, why not go this direction?).

And I’ve embarked on a new series of short stories about a longterm woman couple. Melba and Joni are bisexual women in their sixties who make a New Year’s resolution to seduce a different man every month. This leads, naturally, to a new story once a month. More soon on that front.

Last weekend a friend and I ran a Vision Board collage workshop for a very enthusiastic group of women. The point of a Vision Board is to embody our intentions for the year in a collage that will inspire us. We each chose a theme that guided our choice of pictures and words. I thought about all my motivators right now - creativity, play, living past fear - and chose the theme of Living Out Loud. We began with a meditation, letting go of 2019 and embracing 2020. Then we chose from a huge range of background papers, pictures and words, cut out and assembled our creations, and at the end each woman had a chance to share how her collage embodied her intentions.

It was such a rich experience! Please consider adding an art element to your creative mix this year. If collage does not appeal, search for Zentangle, an easily learned drawing practice that is also calming and meditative. Or consider SARK’s Creative Dream Game, a colorful deck that is sure to inspire your writing.

Whatever you create this month, may it remind you how sexy and fabulous you really are.

With all best wishes,


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Stella Fosse

125 S Estes Drive #4311, Chapel Hill
N|C 27312 United States

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