When deadlines are more important than your anxiety - should you quit?

We pop champagne to celebrate new beginnings, and throw weddings to celebrate couples - but what about celebrating an ending? Like.. leaving a job that was hurting you? If you ask me, I think we should get our lehengas out and have a little celebration for those too! A wedding, but also with a support group touch to it.

Hi, my name is Nidhi Wadhwa and I leave jobs that don’t treat me well.

Google has about five pages of data on what you should do when you want to leave your toxic job. (At least, five that I know of. Who goes further than five?) Actually, you’re probably wondering - “Nidhi, who goes further than two pages of Google results?” Someone who is desperate to leave their job, that’s who.

Pulling the Plug

I have left three jobs that hurt my mental peace. And every time I have left, I have been scared and alone. My family has questioned my decision, and while my friends have been supportive, they’ve also been concerned for me. (They don’t do a very good job at hiding it, tbh.)

At one point, I thought to myself: am I becoming a quitter? There’s always that good ol’ pop culture wisdom where Marie Kondo simply said - “If it doesn’t spark joy for you, leave”. Or Ariana’s “Thank you, next”.

But it is NOT easy to “thank you, next” your toxic job. It is one of the most nerve-wracking processes. Even writing your resignation email can be tough — I’ve been on Wikihow’s ‘How To Write A Resignation Letter’ more than anyone. It’s hard to even admit to yourself that you need to move on from a job. I’ve rehearsed ‘I need to quit’ like Chandler rehearsed ‘Will you marry me’ in front of the mirror. And just like him, I got my happy ending too.

When Do You Know They’re Not The One?

I learnt that mental health is not taken seriously at some jobs no matter what HR town halls say. What employers usually mean in these town halls is: Deadlines are more important than panic attacks, so please schedule your anxiety accordingly. And I, for one, was done with this attitude.

I’ve also wondered whether I was imagining this toxicity, or whether it was all in my head. This is because nobody ever prepares you for when your manager expects you to show up to work on your periods, or your male colleague mansplains even the most basic concepts to you. While I understand there will be flaws in every place I work at, these are not flaws. These are red flags. And it’s time we stop seeing them with rose-tinted glasses, and see them for what they are.

Now What?

It’s not like I don’t have my unscheduled anxiety attacks anymore, but Marie Kondo was right - there is joy here, on the other side of quitting a toxic job. I do struggle financially but I am finally doing things I like. When all hope feels lost and I can’t make ends meet, I listen to Reese Witherspoon’s speech and ask myself: So what do I do now?

The answer is: I rebuild.

But as Jennifer Willoughby said - there is so much violence in reconstruction.

I know this piece has been about jobs I’ve quit - but there have also been jobs that have been good to me, so I’d like to pay a little homage to them. I have had the opportunity to work at beautiful places, meet warm people, and create things (like this newsletter!) that I am so proud of.

I’d like to end this with a toast (wedding, remember?):

If the voice in your head is saying ‘I need to put in my papers’, here’s to that voice for knowing you deserve better.

And to a little old me, for continuing, despite. For myself, by myself.

Warmly,
Nidhi
Writer / Aspiring Florist

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