Although Halloween is the last day of the month, it is the very heart of October. And at the heart of the holiday are the costumes we wear to parties or to trick-or-treat in our neighborhoods.

Halloween gives us a chance to take on a new identity. We dress up as ghosts and goblins, superheroes and supervillains, pop icons and politicians. 

Then we take our costumes off and go back to being ourselves.

I had a client named Jessy, and in her adolescence, her friends gave her a nickname: Messy Jessy. 

It wasn't about unmade beds and clothes on the bathroom floor. It was about impulsive, reckless choices that created havoc and chaos. 

She laughed when she shared this. She clearly had a fondness and attachment to the identity. She even referred to herself as Messy Jessy, but there was a downside. Many of the antics that earned her the name caused her shame.

She had matured considerably since making those mistakes and missteps, yet she had trouble envisioning a successful future. She’d gotten stuck in her identity as Messy Jessy.

In our work, each time she employed a thoughtful, deliberate approach to a challenging situation—instead of an impulsive, reactionary one—I’d ask: “Would Messy Jessy be able to do that?”

Slowly I helped her reframe her past as a series of behaviors she’d outgrown instead of an identity she couldn’t escape. As she put Messy Jessy out to pasture, she took actions towards the goals she’d set for her future.

You choose an identity for Halloween. But what about the other days?

What identities do you hold onto that get in the way?

• Are you a banker that hates banking? Nope! You’re someone who started your career in banking before searching for your next chapter.

And what identities would be helpful to choose?

• Do you want to start exercising? Instead of searching for the discipline to get to the gym, find something you love. Become a runner, a yogi, a cyclist, a weightlifter.

Start a sentence with the words “I am” and then choose a noun that can power you towards your goals.

I AM A LEADERSHIP COACH. I know how to help you curate the identities that will serve you best.

Interested? Book a complimentary coaching session here.