Stress Management Monthly Newsletter

1. Sale of the Month

The landmark education book, Discipline without Stress® Punishments or Rewards has 54 reviews on with 87% ranking the book with 5 STARS. This hardbound comprehensive education book is now on sale at a 50% discount ($18.98 vs. $35.95). Three of the chapters "Classroom Meetings", "Collaboration for Quality Learning", and "Reducing Perfectionism" are available for free reading here.

2. Quote of the Month

3. Parenting Without Stress

An acknowledgment—recognizing what the person has done—is more satisfying than praise.

4. Discipline Without Stress

Many teachers and schools are having difficulty because of the “mandate” to reduce office referrals and suspension for “minority" students. In my opinion, there are two reasons for this: (1) educators have no idea that they are in the relationship and motivation profession, and (2) they have never learned to use authority without coercion. The Discipline Without Stress approach is unique in this regard.

Take a look at this video to learn more.

5. Living Without Stress

The following excerpt is from the award-winning book, "Live Without Stress."


W. Edwards Deming, the man who brought quality to the workplace by collaboration and continual improvement, believed that the internal motivation of desire leading to performance, productivity, and quality work could not be legislated, manipulated, or mandated. He taught that all human beings are born with an inner drive to learn, to take pride in their work, to experiment, and to improve.

Thomas Armstrong, an education expert, has written that even when working with young people labeled with attention deficit disorder (ADD) and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), it may be far better to use behavioral strategies that internally empower rather than those that employ external control.

In their explanatory book, “Why We Do What We Do: Understanding Self-Motivation,” Edward Deci and Richard Flaste show that internal rather than external motivation is at the heart of creativity, responsibility, healthy behavior, and lasting change. Internal motivation is the key to learning and educational success. The point is illustrated well in the perceptive Calvin and Hobbs cartoon where Calvin says to his teacher, "You can give me the information, but you can't make me learn." Calvin is correct; no one can make another person learn. However, a young person can certainly be influenced to learn. In today’s society, the most effective approach for learning and changing behavior is to influence without coercion.

6. Improving Relationships

In order to significantly improve relationships, focus on CLARIFICATION, rather than attempting to influence the person. You will find that agreement is often achieved more quickly with this approach.

Rather than assuming you know the reasoning behind another person’s viewpoint, ask for an explanation. That is, aim at clarification—rather than influencingUsing this process, the person articulates the reasoning, and you many find that the person’s reasoning is worth considering.

You may also receive an insight about the other person, which will assist you in your discussions and understanding of that person. Having the other person feel and believe that his/her reasoning is recognized—not necessarily agreed with—can have a dramatic influence on changing opinions.

More ideas on this topic are available at

7. Increasing Effectiveness

Emotions are the foundation of motivation. If you can attach a feeling to an idea, you will be more effective.

8. Promoting Responsibility

Fear is usually negative self-talk about a perceived situation. So, rather than attempting to eradicate your fear, warm up to it.

We can learn from our children. Children don’t say, “I can’t because I’m afraid.” For example, a youngster will get on a high diving board and dive off even though she has never done it before. She’ll run to the parent with a great smile, and the parent will ask, “Weren’t you afraid?” She’ll respond, “Yes, I was afraid; I was really scared.”

But a grown-up won’t do the same thing. If you say to a grown-up, “Are you going to dive off the board?” the adult will say, “No, I’m afraid.” The mental talk of the adults is, “If I’m afraid, I can’t do it.” But the truth is that you can do it even if you are afraid; it’s just less comfortable than doing something you are not afraid to do. But if you do it a couple of times, you won’t be afraid to do it anymore, and it will become more and more comfortable because you would have created new neural connections in your brain.

Rather than saying, “I can’t do it,”—whether it is learning a new computer program or getting on a treadmill—you can do it by easing into the task.

The Japanese have a word for it: kaizen. It means "continual improvement." Just take one step at a time when trying something new. This “warming up” to the task will have you feeling confident and competent in a shorter period of time than you would have expected.

When promoting responsibility in our self or actuating responsibility in others, take small steps rather than large leaps. The familiar aphorism states this idea succinctly: Small strokes fell great oaks.

9. Promoting Learning


All of the videos that are in my eLearning course at have undergone extensive improvement. The audio has been digitally remastered and enhanced on all 54 modules for easier and more efficient viewing.

Here are two options:

View the Staff Development Bundle ➤
View the Discipline Online eLearning Course ➤

10. Stress Management Video

"Discipline Without Stress Solves a Sibling Argument"

As I explain in my radio and TV interviews, blog posts, newsletters, and video channel, parents and teachers often engage in practices that bring unnecessary stress and prompt adversarial relations. Here is a typical example of a parent who uses DISCIPLINE WITHOUT STRESS—as she wrote me....

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11. What People Say

"After using the Discipline without Stress® System in our home, life seems so much more enjoyable.  The truth is that our children do know what is expected of them.  Holding them to a higher level of responsibility has made all of our lives more peaceful. Thank you."

—Wendi Hall, Teacher and Parent, Vestavia Hills, Alabama

12. Resources

50% OFF!

Discipline Without Stress® Punishments or Rewards: How Teachers and Parents Promote Responsibility and Learning

The hardbound book is now on sale at 50% discount—as long as the book is still available in our warehouse. 

Click to Learn More / Buy ➤

Learn that you ALWAYS stay in authority WITHOUT using bribes to control, threats, imposing punishments, or any other coercive or EXTERNAL motivational approach at

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For personal COACHING or STAFF DEVELOPMENT, send email to with "Info" in the subject line. If you want a group Internet session at no charge, just let me know your date and time preference using Pacific time zone.

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Dr. Marvin Marshall

PO Box 11
Cypress, CA


Phone: 1.714.220.1882