Have you ever had the following thought:
"I wish I was more confident."
Because I have.
For a long time throughout my childhood and adolescence I struggled with confidence issues. I would have a tough time just 'being myself'.
It was because I harboured insecurities about how others would perceive me; I wanted desperately to fit in.
But here's the deal. Confidence isn't about fitting in.
It isn't about deliberately trying to stand out either.
Confidence is being able to project whatever you think and feel inside, outwards. Including your insecurities.
And being perfectly fine with however others perceive it.
It's giving up the need to portray a certain idealised or crafted image of yourself for external validation.
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Being confident is deeply connected to your self-esteem. You could be the best-looking person on the planet with the most flamboyant possessions and still lack confidence.
Does that mean appearances don't matter?
Appearances do matter.
Losing weight and getting in shape will improve your sense of self-esteem and hence lead to higher confidence. It will lead to others around you treating you differently because of the 'Halo Effect' which in turn will create a virtuous cycle of you feeling better about yourself.
However, losing weight alone isn't enough if you want to experience true confidence. If your entire sense of self-worth is based on external validation, it will crumble as soon as someone or something takes away that validation.
Experiencing true confidence requires you to work on your inner game alongside the work you put into your body. It requires you to expose yourself to situations that make you uncomfortable.
For my adolescent self this meant public speaking, dabbling in a dramatics and music, starting conversations with strangers. And it took me YEARS before I even became comfortable with being my true self.
And I'm still honing this skill. I had never been comfortable being on social media until I decided to build Workday Physique in 2021.
This is a lifelong process.
It's only by doing things we are uncomfortable with that we build up the skill of being confident. It's a skill like any other. And requires time and effort to master.
If it's something of importance to you. You must invest the time and effort to acquire it.
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P.S.: I spoke recently with Caitlin Maher on my podcast. She has had an inspiring weight loss journey where she has managed to lose over 130 lbs (59 kgs) in a sustainable manner. Lots of valuable lessons throughout the episode.
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