Update on the aftermath of my recent car accident.

If you hadn't heard about this yet, you can read some details about it here.

...

Hello, all.

It has been a while since my last car accident/concussion update as it has been a challenging couple of weeks (couple of months).

The concussions symptoms I have been experiencing are evolving, but not necessarily making the kind of headway I would have hoped. (Unintentional pun, I swear.)

It’s hard to really explain, but as I continue on my healing process I am recognizing more and more of what seems to no longer be what it used to be. As I effort to come back into how I once made my way in the world, I continue to notice deficits and limitations and pain and hard walls and rebounds and pitfalls and sinkholes of woundedness and injury and a seemingly growing mountain of post-accident things that need to be priority addressed all while struggling to prevent my personal and professional life from continuing to crumble beneath me. It’s been a ride.

“It will get better. It just takes time.”

I believe this. I Do. I hold this mindset as my rutter in the uncertain but turbulent water of this liminal phase of my life and am doing my due diligence to rehabilitate from this, on all levels, as best I can.

And yet I can’t help but wonder, does it get better because I will come back into my capacities again or because I will learn to live with what’s leftover? And then what?

I truly wish for and am persistently working towards the former, but I am also doing my best to prepare myself to accept the potential of the latter as skillfully as possible, too. (For what it's worth, Stephen Jenkinson's work has helped me a lot on this regard.)

In all of this, I remain blessed to have a community of care around me, which includes you; an understanding and supportive family and housemates; and a loving partner who, together with our concussions, is navigating the challenge of this time in our lives in a collaborative, fundamentally same-sided and mutually supportive way.

With respect to the podcast, you may have noticed that I recently put out an episode on Astrology and Tarot. I felt very accomplished getting it out, but I paid a price for it in the days following.

From that experience, I recognized that getting an episode out once every 3 or 4 weeks, while I continue to heal, feels reasonable and achievable. I appreciate your patience and compassion as the podcast stumbles its way back up to walking, as I go through this process.

Also, I have since been slowly working on another episode to come out as of (ideally) next Friday, April 1st. It is a follow-up with a former guest of the show, Darcia Narvaez, PhD, recorded before my injury.

With respect to my book, sadly it remains a long way away from where I am now and I am not sure when, or if ever, it will be possible to continue. The depth of grief around this for me is very significant and I genuinely don't have anything else to say on that at this time.

So ya, slowly but steadily I am doing my best in difficult circumstances, as so many of us are in these times. Your support, direct and indirect, has been invaluable.

To those of you who have sent out donations and/or continue to help patron ATTMind and my work even as my actual output of content has all but ceased for the time being, I cannot express how much gratitude I have for you. Thank you. Thank you. <3

And thank you to everyone who has sent compassionate replies, comments, or supportive offers. If I did not respond to you, it is only because I am living in a state of nearly perpetual pending overwhelm due to the limitations of my brain. As such, honestly, I may never respond, but I am truly grateful nonetheless.

I will check in with you all again as this process continues to unfold. Although it might be a few weeks before I do so that I can utilize the limited cognitive resources that I do have for work to produce content for you. 

With care,

James

...

TL/DR My concussion/post-car accident experience has been very difficult. I am doing my due diligence to both focus on my healing and the process of slowly returning to work as best I can. Podcast likely to be released every 3-4 weeks until May.

Thank you for your understanding.

Also, a great video on post-concussion syndrome was sent to me by a podcast listener recently, who has gone through PCS and made this video to help others understand it. I found it very helpful and you might appreciate it too.
You can watch it here.