ChabadMatch Update

Tishrei 5776 Edition 5

Shidduch 122: The Brocha of the Dollar of the Rebbe!

By Shadchan Rivkah Torreneheim

 

   An Israeli Shliach in Sydney, Rabbi Alon Hezi, gave my brother a dollar of the Rebbe  to keep until he finds his Shidduch. 

   I had been very busy with work and felt sad about the last suggestion my brother received. I was on the train coming home from work, and started reading my emails and was looking through new ChabadMatch profiles that had arrived. One looked very interesting, I read the whole profile carefully. As I was reading it, I right away felt that this is definitely the girl for my brother. The way she wrote made it sound as if my brother was writing, and she was exactly what my brother was looking for. I looked at the picture again and knew this girl was for my brother.

   Hashem helped overcome obstacles including: language, time difference, distance, and culture. The Kallah, who was living in Israel and whose parents were in France, had signed up on ChabadMatch just a few days prior. She replied that she was interested and would discuss it with her parents. Shortly thereafter, the Kallah came to New York, and after three dates, they came to our house to ask for my mother's Bracha for the engagement!

   After the engagement we noticed, that the date the Kallah wrote back after reading my brother's profile was the same Hebrew date that the Rebbe had given the dollar to the Shliach!

 

Rabbi Manis Friedman: Can you hurry up your Bashert?

Shadchan Up Close: Yehudis Abramowitz of Jerusalem

Q. How did you first get involved in Shidduchim?

A. I think everyone dabbles in shidduchim from time to time.  It's certainly a mitzva to help Yidden find their zivugim. The first shidduch I made was with a widower and a divorcee.  I didn't even know that they were supposed to give "shadchanus gelt."  At the chassunah, someone mentioned that it was a segulah to compensate the shadchente.  I received one American Dollar from each side! The second shidduch I made came a while later. The son of a friend of mine actually had the idea, but felt it would be more effective if a mature woman would make the suggestion and actually "work" the shidduch.  I agreed to try it and B"H all went along smoothly until the culmination in marriage.  I received a respectable check for shadchonus gelt this time. But it wasn't until my youngest child was in shidduchim, that I realized how difficult a process it could be.  My older children met their zivugim "one, two three" and they were married.  My little daughter, though, expected her search to go as quickly, but somehow it didn't. It took us three years and 126 suggestions later to find her basherte.  After her marriage, twelve years ago, I realized what an avodah finding your zivug could be. I silently decided that whenever someone asked me to help with a shidduch, I would. About nine years ago, I took a fall and broke a bone in my foot. I had to take a leave of absence from my job and to keep me busy, I decided to attend the Lubavitch Women's Convention in Boulder, Colorado.  Even though I was still hobbling around with my foot in a "boot" and a quad cane, I attended the convention and was inspired by a presentation on Shidduchim on Sunday morning.  That was the beginning of my official designation as "shadchente."


Q. What Shidduchim do you specialize in?

A. In the beginning I didn't really have a specialty, but as the years went on and the numbers of requests became overwhelming, I decided to concentrate on "older" singles.  Young men and women who were over 30 and men and women in their 40's, 50's and older!  I shep a lot of nachas from the older marriages!

 

Q. What advice do you have for singles in the Parsha? 

A. I have two opposing philosophies: 

1) When searching for your zivug, keep looking for what you ideally want. It's essential to keep your priorities in order and not to compromise your important values. He should have good midos, be a yirei shomayim, get to minyan on time each day, have a set learning schedule, etc.  She should have emunah, be mekushar to the Rebbe, love children, want to have an open home, etc.

2) Be ready to let go of some of your fantasies, in order to be open to finding the right person. Does he really have to be 5'10" or taller?  Can I be open to a Sefaradi? Does she have to be a size "zero" to qualify as a good wife and mother? 

I think it is important to be "open" to ideas that might not have occurred to you when first entering the shidduch world.  I remember one profile that impressed me very much.  A young woman wrote her "requirements" for finding her life partner. But after listing the ten most important qualities she was looking for, she stated: "And if you happen to meet someone who doesn't have any of those qualifications, but you think he might be for me, please send him my way!"

Sometimes, the most unlikely ideas work!  After all, it is the Aibershter who is making these shidduchim and we are only his shluchim!

Mrs. Abramowitz can be reached at yehudisabramowitz@gmail.com

Dating Course

Use coupon code: Chabadmatch to receive a 60% discount on Rabbi Manis Friedman's 3-Part Teleseminar for Bochurim and Girls.

 

New Feature: Travel Message Board for Shadchanim!

Lubavitchers are real globetrotters and travel often. If you are heading to Israel this summer, and have a stopover in London, why not let our Shadchanim know. They might have a great suggestion for you, but would only suggest it if they knew you were in town. Simply email travel@chabadmatch.com with your travel dates and we will add the info to our Travel Message Board for Shadchanim.

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