Talking Teens Catch Up

What's been going on this month?

When Tomorrow Comes

Hi , 

I am tragic 80's girl at heart and Eurythmics 'When Tomorrow Comes' actually still makes me almost burst into tears when I hear it. Never really understood why. Maybe it was just a song that resonated with me as a 14 year old girl? Maybe I just thought Annie looked friggin awesome in black leather pants, a red bra, with white cropped hair and bright red lipstick. She was a chick that screamed strength, passion, and talent. Oh how I wanted to be her! The age of 14 is a pretty fundamental age. Some life long beliefs/thoughts are starting to be set in stone at that age. Can you remember what influenced you at 14? What do you think will be the influences of your 14 year olds? What will be their song in (cough) 30 years time that will resonate to their core? What is yours?

Trending in Teens

Introverted Teens

In the Talking Teens - Not Alone closed group we discussed at length what it is like to have an introverted teen. It is challenging to not panic about a teen that is not wanting to go out with friends every chance they can, or those teens who want to spend time in their room.  It is very easy to jump to concerning conclusions about a teen who likes to spend time alone. As usual, some great parenting advice was shared by the group.

Here are some pearls of wisdom to share:

  • I think the online instant communication has changed our kids... as a teen myself, I was keen to be with my peers socializing etc all the time... which meant creating events/reasons to hang out... late night, discos, parties etc... i think they get that now virtually...
  • The other aspect here is gender and personality type. I'm still learning how my boys are not mini me's and they are also introverts. True that times are changing and we are now learning as we go about this new world
  • My 12yr old is the same as far as spending 12hrs straight over the weekend, luckily though he also plays sport & trains twice a week. He says he wants to be a professional online gamer one day ... some of those guys are millionaires so I've decided to stop stressing about it... although during the school holidays it's every day & If I don't feed him he barely eats, it's tricky!
  • Miss 12 finds it much easier to communicate online or through text, rather than face to face.
  •  Just remember 'different' isn't wrong. We all hear our own beat xx

If you would like to join the closed group, just jump on this link and request to join: 

Talking Teens Not Alone

Talking Teens Update

Avery Magazine

I am fortunate enough to be a regular contributor to Avery Magazine. In the current edition, they have run my article on Gap Years. With Middle doing Year 12 this year, this has brought up this topic once again. There are different circumstances this time around, but still, a gap year seems to be on the cards.  As with Eldest, the desire for just working and traveling is strong, which I am ok with.   I am hoping that by having some life experience, it will go some way to making the decision as to 'what do I want to do with my life?' much clearer. 

Check out Avery Magazine

Instagram

OK, so I have not been very active on Insta in the last few weeks but I have started following a few cool accounts.  One I have enjoyed following is Somewhere In Between.      It is more targeted to the younger tweens, with some really nice fashion and home decor. Check them out.  Another pretty awesome account is Tweens To Teens Helping tweens to teens girls discover their inner confidence, based in Melbourne. They look great! Lots of inspiring things.

So if you are on Instagram, give us a follow and a share - sharing is caring talkingteens_jo

Facebook

Some amazing articles have been shared on the page recently, one of which I had sent to me by quite a few people saying "You have GOT to share this!" It was a beautiful article about having a 14 year old daughter. I have never had the pleasure (?) of a daughter, but this article still resonated with me. The relationship I have with my boys was not too dissimilar. Anyway, have a read as it was wonderful. If you have anything to add to the list, feel welcome to share on the Talking Teens Facebook Page.    Raising A Daughter - Handle with care, especially if she is 14

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Let's Talk About Se...LOVE!

Talking about sex with your teens has been a huge topic of awesome conversations in the media recently and I think it is friggin brilliant!! The reason I am so thrilled about it is, the focus is about how we are failing to talk about RELATIONSHIPS when talking about sex. The sex talk is never going to be a walk in the park, for parent or teen. But let's face it, the actual mechanics of sex is something that does not need as much 'talk' as other more important things; things such as loverespectconsentheartbreak, and so on. Both the articles listed below talk about the same study, but each offers some great insights so I thought it was worth sharing both. 

Recently I had a discussion with a teenager who was struggling in their relationship. Their partner suggested that they expand their experiences and have an open relationship. The young person expressed to me how they were uncomfortable with that idea (understandably so). He said to me that the girl had said it would be ok because there would be no emotions involved. (WTF??) He stated matter of factly that he would never do sex without emotions involved! Clearly, this young man may not represent the general male perceptions of sexual relationships, but it was very clear that the importance of respect and care was taught by his parents. 

Each of the articles below has some incredibly useful suggestions. For example:                     Speak with your teen about the many forms of love. Explain what you mean when you say that you are in love with someone. Let your child understand that they may define being in love differently than someone else and that there is no right definition of being in love. But there are ways of knowing whether intense feelings for someone else are likely to lead to healthy or unhealthy romantic relationships. Explore with your teen why and how love can be deeply meaningful and change the course of our lives.                                                                                

Ask yourself how easy this type of conversation is to have with your teen rather than "the erect penis is inserted into the vagina...." and all jokes aside, how much more important to the future of your teen's relationships is the conversation about love?

Another interesting point to consider, especially if you are already saying to yourself 'well my track record is pretty shit, who am I to talk about 'optimal' relationships? Many parents assume kids don’t want advice from them, or think their own failed relationships render them unfit to offer insights. “When you probe more deeply, a number say some version of ‘I feel I failed at my own relationships,'” Weissbourd says. “But relationship failures can generate as many insights as successes.”

Start these conversations with your teens early. Use any opportunity you can to talk about relationships, good and bad. Movies, TV shows, people you see in the mall, stories you hear about. Any opportunity where your teen could learn something useful and put tools in their tool box to maximise their understandings of respect, consent, care and consideration. 

How To Teach Your Teens To Have A Healthy Romantic Relationship

Parents Are Getting The Sex Talk All Wrong

#TeensAreAwesome

Roisin Maeve

I will always support young people who have amazing talent, and this human being has bucket loads! Roisin Maeve is an Adelaide poet & performer who is really making waves. Recently she released a video for her poem "The World Told Me" and it is stunning, amazing, gorgeous, brilliant, gush gush gush!

  "...the poem is a mosaic of my own experiences of growing up as a young woman, as well as broader themes surrounding sexuality, sexism and the ways in which girls are raised through childhood and adolescence.   
in a deeper sense, the poem is about women's bodies: my body, and how our bodies have been seen as something to be won, owned, taken and lost."

Check it out here: Roisin Maeve, The World Told Me

If you discover an amazing teen that you feel the world needs to know about, let me know xx 

 

#10Days2TeenTalk E-Course @ talkingteens.com.au

So , better slightly late than never! I am sorry. xx  In my defense, we did have formal last week which you would think would be pretty low maintenance from the guy's perspective, but that was not how it panned out! (stress!!) But he looked handsome, I cried and all went well. 

The Difficult Conversations guide is still in production but is not far off. I am pretty excited about it and hope that you will find it useful. 

As always, if there is any particular topic that you want me to explore on your behalf, just send me a message. If you are not already a member of the Talking Teens Not Alone group, then jump on board. Always feel welcome to send me great articles, leads or funny posts you may find.     And always feel free to spread the word about Talking Teens.  

Bye for now

Love Jo x

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