Stress Management Monthly Newsletter

In This Issue:

  1. Quote of the Month
  2. Stress Management Video Tip
  3. Parenting Without Stress Tip
  4. Discipline Without Stress Tip
  5. Live Without Stress Book
  6. Discipline Online
  7. Speaking and Presenting
  8. Charity for U.S. Schools
  9. What People Say
  10. Resources

1. Quote of the Month

Two conversations
at the same time.
One talks about this.
The other talks about that.

And to make it worse
the one who says this
hears only about this,
the other only about that.

Thus, they learn about
what they already know.
One gains more of this.
The other more of that.

Two conversations
without communication.
Just a reiteration of this
and a repetition of that.

—Steve Kaye
from Communication in his book, "Life Poems"
SteveKaye.com

2. Stress Management Video Tip

"Counterwill"

Did you know that your success in handling stress can come from your motivation? Watch this tip:

Watch My Latest Video
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3. Parenting Without Stress Tip

The key to truly enjoying parenting is to understand that—although you can control children—you cannot change them. So what do you do? You stay in authority but without using coercion so that relations remain positive. You remain in control by the questions you ask.

The reason that this procedure is so effective is that the questions you ask promote reflection. Here are some questions for you to parent without stress:

  • Is what you are doing getting you what you really want?
  • Is what you're doing moving you forward or backward?
  • Are you going to let this (situation, person, problem, setback, disappointment) hold you back?
  • How are you going to be able to rise above this (situation, challenge)?
  • What can I do to help you?

4. Discipline Without Stress Tip

Question:

I’m new to the Raise Responsibility System of discipline. I never heard of the term, “imposed consequences." What exactly does this mean?

My Response:

"Imposed consequences" refers to any consequence that has been determined solely by an adult. In other words, the consequence is imposed with no participation with the young person.

Sometimes adults simply use the term, "consequences," when they refer to "imposed consequences" and sometimes they use the terms, "logical consequences" or "natural consequences." Regardless of what term is used, the defining feature of an imposed consequence is that it has been imposed and is not of the young person's choice.

For instance, if a kid misbehaves and the adult decides to impose a "time out," then the consequence has been determined and imposed by the ADULT. 

(NOTE: In a situation like this at home, if the parent says, "I need a time out," the youngster will often immediately change inappropriate behavior and even ask to help the adult.")

Consider the fact that imposed consequences—including those called "logical consequences” or "natural consequences—are actually punishments by another name.

In discipline situations in which a consequence is deemed necessary, a more positive approach to raising responsibility is to ELICIT consequences.

In this approach, the young person has a choice. Choice gives ownership, and people generally do not argue with their own decisions.

It should be noted that in the vast majority of cases, a consequence is not necessary. Creating a procedure with the young person to prevent a similar inappropriate behavior is just as successful.

5. Live Without Stress Book

I was recently asked a series of questions about my Live Without Stress book:

1. What impact does stress have on our life?
Stress can shorten lives and have debilitating effects on health—both physical and mental.

2. What are specific things we can do to reduce stress?
Master our mind when making decisions (in contrast to acting on feelings.)

3. What are some of the assumptions that create stress?
The idea that people have no choices! Choice ends when life ends. We are constantly making choices. We never have to be a victim because we can choose our responses to any situation that we cannot change, anything that stimulates us, or any urge that erupts.

4. How does the language we use increase, decrease, or eliminate stress?
Language directs feelings. Notice the difference in feeling between “I HAVE to attend the meeting” vs.
“I GET to attend the meeting."

5. How does one take control of situations that are stress-inducers?
Redirect our thoughts. Feelings (emotion) ALWAYS follow thinking (cognition).

6. What role can laughter play in creating a happier/less-stressful existence?
Humor is one of the quickest and most effective approaches for reducing stress.

7. What are the best ways to deal with difficult people so one can build healthier, more stress-free relationships?
No one else can create our stress. Others may stimulate or prompt anxiety or negative thoughts but we allow ourselves to be stressed because of the decisions or LACK OF DECISIONS we ourselves make.

8. What impact can imagery and visualization have on stress?
Both are terrific tools to combat stress.

9. How do we identify the sources of stress in our life?
When we feels anxiety or negative feelings, stress has been created.

10. What are some of the unhealthy ways folks cope with stress, and how do they replace them with healthy strategies?
They have a mindset of victimhood and make little if any attempt to change their thinking or implement the suggestion in my book, Live Without Stress.

Book Circle Online Video Interview on Stress:

6. Discipline Online

Discipline Online reduces the "sink or swim" approach to teaching. Education is still the only profession that does NOT teach the most essential skill for success, namely, walking into a classroom for the first time as a new teacher and having a system to handle every behavior or discipline problem. Learn how at an incredibly low investment at Discipline online.

7. Speaking and Presenting

Need a speaker for a corporate, education, or parent event? Check out the Marvin Marshall's speaking site.

8. Charity for U.S. Schools

The charity application for any k - 12 U.S. schools to receive free materials has been completely revised at Discipline Without Stress, Inc.

9. What People Say

"I not only enjoyed your keynote at our five-district staff development but the specific examples you gave of how to redirect negative communications to positive ones. The resounding applause you received from the more than 425 attendees attests to how your message was received.

—Dominick Potena, Superintendent
Margate City School District Margate City, New Jersey

10. Resources

Live Without Stress, Dr. Marvin Marshall, Piper Press - This book is a fresh and innovating read that details the various ways individuals can improve their lives by shedding the psychologically debilitating exoskeleton of stress. Marshall states that people are affected by their mental states, and fear paralyzes and traps them in a self-imposed shell, one they perceive to be their armor or strength, but in reality it is an anchor weighing them down, miring them in misery. Despite the heavy subject matter, the writing is bright and lively, uplifting and nurturing, offering insights and shedding light into those dark corners of our fear where we seldom venture and, if trapped, never escape.

—2017 US Review of Books

 

You will want to keep your copy, and this allows you to give one away as a gift to share regarding "how to increase your joy in the journey of life."

Click to Buy One - Get One Free

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Questions, Thoughts, or Comments?

Don't be shy, I'd love to hear from you! Feel free to contact me directly at Marv@MarvinMarshall.com

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Dr. Marvin Marshall

P.O. Box 2227
Los Alamitos, CA 90720
USA

Phone: 1.714.220.1882
Website: WithoutStress.com

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