Talking Teens Catch Up

October

The End is Nigh!

The end is nigh for year 12 that is!

Mr Middle is about to enter the long dark tea-time of the soul ~ otherwise known as Year 12 final exams. There is a list on the wall of what is due and when and it feels like my stress levels are peaking. His, however, not so much. He is calm and organized. ????

“It is all Gucci Ma” (translated into ‘it is all good mum’). He has chosen to do the slow but steady approach to his year 12 and flagged right from the start he was not going to put himself under a heap of stress for the sake of a number (the score at the end of the year). Mr Middle wants to be a teacher, and even though his goal is to get into university, he also knows that he can apply for uni in 2 years time regardless of whether he gets the score he needs this year or not. “So why push myself to the point of being ill and not enjoying what I am doing?” hmmmmmm

I was a little concerned at the start of the year. Concerned that he was not taking it seriously enough, but after watching a group of year 12s and their families go through some rather unenjoyable months where education took on a sense of ‘do or die’ and became a chore rather than ‘edu-ca-tion!’ I tend to now agree with Mr Middle's decision. His calm, collected, measured outlook might not get him the straight A’s he does not even need, but it has resulted in him enjoying year 12, enjoying what he has learned, and benefited from great relationships with his teachers. His attitude is a healthy one I think. I hope. We will see.

Not to say that other students who have a greater drive for the best results they can muster have not enjoyed year 12 in the same way. For Mr Middle, he found a school/life balance that suited him and gave him the headspace to feel good about what he was doing. I could not ask for more than a happy productive final year of high school for him. I hope others with a year 12 student in the family are also finding enjoyment and fulfillment from this experience. It is just one year really in the big scheme of things.

Anyway, in the land of Talking Teens, things have been motoring along and I am pretty excited about so many awesome things happening soon! One pretty cool thing ~ (and that is me trying to sound cool although I really want to just jump up and down and hug everyone) ~ is a collaboration I am doing with an amazing person. See below for more details. 

Cheers

Jo x

 

Breathe

When two things I love become friends

OK, so here is where I lose my shit a little. But first, Breathe Magazine and I are in no way associated (although I would dearly love to be!), so this is genuine commentary. Please check out their website: Breathe Magazine

I LOVE this magazine. It is all about living a mindful, enriching, nurturing, balanced life. It is beautiful to look at, beautiful to touch and makes you want to find a quiet spot and read it over and over again. I find that I can pick up any edition and re-read an article and find myself immersed in the content contemplating how I will implement that in my life right now! Insert sigh of contentment here: <3

So, you can imagine my response when I saw their video promoting their little sister edition Teen Breathe. I actually squealed and leaped in the air!  Never, ever have I pressed the ‘buy now’ button quicker in my life. If I were in a shop I would have just thrown my wallet at the service person! The first edition is due for release in January, and yep I have my subscription. I can not wait to read what they will say about teens and their philosophy of enriched living.

My impression, based on the appearance of the grown-up version, will be that it will also be beautiful and possibly/probably on the feminine side. That is fine and that is not a criticism, however, I am very keen to see if they will be able to pull off something that can be appealing to teen boys. Good question.

Can anything related to mindfulness be appealing to teen boys? I would not be surprised if the team from Breathe could do something, but if they can’t – you know what? Challenge ACCEPTED! Talking Teens will happily tackle that! I Kinda know someone who Kinda might be able to help ... www.kindamindful.com

So excitement item number one = shared! And this is not even the best news!

#DifficultConversations & #10Days2TeenTalk

The importance of communication

I had someone ask me the other day what makes me think I have the answers to knowing what is important about communicating with teenagers, and how do I know that what I have to say about it is correct. So I asked my teens. here is what they said:

"When I try and explain a situation, you can tell what the underlying issue is, or if there's something I'm not saying. I might not know how to phrase something right but you'll know anyway. I can tell you are always willing to try and understand,  if it's not exactly correct I still know you're taking it all in, listening, figuring things out " 

"When it comes to talking to mum about stuff, even if its stuff that I really don't think is the best idea to tell her, I think ‘well she was young before and chances are she'll probably understand’. I mean, she really does listen to me, regardless what I am telling her. Whether its drinking or relationships, chances are she knows what’s up and, I mean honestly having that added relationship with your parents is great. I don't have to hide anything from my parents, plus if you're telling them stuff, they'll relate and tell you stuff, easy leverage, and a big laugh when you're older.

"Wot? Can you get me some chips?"  

(Legitimate, unadulterated comments provided by the teenagers living in my home gained with only the mildest persuasion techniques. No teen was harmed in the process. )

 

#10Days2TeenTalk

This e-course has been designed for busy parents who can not sit down to a webinar at 10am on a Wednesday because, you know - we go to work! There are no time limits on the course, so if you get busy then you can still get back to it later. Five 'action days' and five reflection days, and only three lots of homework!

The course covers five major points to address to ensure you get the best out of conversations with your teens:

  •  Understanding why communication becomes an issue
  • Listening. Understanding the difference in active listening and responsive listening
  • Words of wisdom and knowing when to keep them to yourself
  • Screenagers, how to deal with screentime issues in a  proactive and reasonable way
  • Perspective. Learning from your experiences: are you perpetuating bad communication habits?

#10Days2TeenTalk has been written for the parent who is willing to take an active role in improving their communication with their teen. If you are serious about having a trusting and honest relationship, then communication is key.

Restart your conversation now. #10Days2TeenTalk is available for $19.95 or you can bundle it with the e-book for a limited time at the special price of $25.00 for the both. 

www.talkingteens.com.au/e-course-sign-up

 

#DifficultConversations

There are some conversations that are harder than others when it comes to teenagers. 

#DifficultConversations e-book was written as an add-on chapter to the e-course,                 (I recommend doing the course first). With tips from the experts and tried and tested methods, you will be empowered and enlightened to be able to master even the most difficult conversation with your teen. 

Once you identify they type of conversation that is needed, you will find valuable information about the timing, the place and the method to nail any conversation.

There are those moments when you have to discuss something important…. and potentially embarrassing and if communication wasn’t hard enough already. It sucks! Well it used to, until Jo from Talking Teens showed me some great tips to connect with my teen when having those hard conversations. For a such a quick and easy read, this ebook is absolutely loaded with strategies for having difficult talks with your teen in an approachable and comfortable way. Highly recommended! Shari from Teenage Survival Coach

 #DifficultConversations is available for a special price of $9.95. Why not bundle it with the E-course, a special price of $25.00 for the both. If you have already done the e-course, then you my dear friend, can have the e-book for free if you promise to give me a nice video review!! 

www.talkingteens.com.au/difficult-conversations

Talking Teens Blog ~ my musings

Are you ready for their first broken heart?

I published a blog a few weeks ago that resonated with quite a number of people. It was about how we support a teenager going through their first broken heart. A broken heart is something we all recall having lived through (just) at some time in our lives. I would wager it would have been when been when we were teens, and for most of us our parents support was ‘lacking’.

In the blog I explore the ways in which we can do a little better by means of support, consideration and understanding offered during this highly vulnerable time. The ways in which we are supported can shape the patterns of dealing with situations, so ensure you are prepared to support your teen to deal with the experience as positively as possible.  Broken Heart

Family bonding!

My birthday wish was for the family to get together

It was my birthday last week and as per our family tradition, the birthday person got to choose what we would do for dinner that night. For me there really was no real choice, there was only one thing I wanted and that was chinese take-away and a round of playing cards against humanity with hubby and the boys. Not sure if you are familiar with the game, those of you who gave a little gasp and slapped your hand over your mouth would clearly be the ones who do what game is. It is a card game that is really quite...wrong but really funny! So the night was spent eating possibly dodgy food, highly inappropriate behaviour, lots of laughs and wizard-wands. (wizard-wands is a drinking related thing that only involved those over the legal drinking age…poor youngest was left out but he was very entertained). It was a great night and great to see the relationship my boys have with one another. I thoroughly advocate board games as a family bonding time (dodgy chinese and alcohol not even required)

Wits End!

THIS IS THE EXCITING NEWS!

Sometimes the universe aligns and your path crosses with someone amazing and strangely enough amazing things happen. I have a new friend and she is about as crazy as I am! And she is just as passionate about raising teenagers as I am. So, of course, the only thing that could happen is a collaboration!

Wits End! Raising Teens

with Shari & Jo 

Shari from The Teenage Survival Coach and

Jo from Talking Teens 

Wits End! podcasts will tackle the tough questions, the crazy circumstances and the mind-numbing issues that can drive parents of teens to their wits end! With guests and the benefit of having 'been there, done that', there will not be a topic that we can't tackle! So watch out! Once we get our shit together (and Shari has the whip out so it won't be long!) there will be some amazing podcasting going on for the benefit of our collective audiences! 

What do you want from me?

Not sure if anyone else has a teenager that does the things mine do – but there are trends that seem to surface and be the ‘it thing’ for a week or so, before it becomes lame. Right now it seems that the preferred way of greeting me is a bellowing “What Do You Want From Me?” be it answering a phone call, text or just coming into the kitchen. To be honest, it makes me laugh and it makes me love him that little bit more.    Does your teen have trends that you are willing to share? (Please share so I know mine are not that crazy…please!)

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Missed previous e-news editions?

If you would like to access previous editions of the Talking Teens E-news, no fear just click here!

Topics covered in previous editions include:

Before I sign off for this month's edition I just wanted to share with you something a little personal. As I (half) jokingly say, I struggled with being a parent when my kids were younger. I put myself under a huge amount of pressure to be the 'perfect' mother, which I am/was/will be far from. Strangely it was when they reached the teen stage that the penny dropped that my role was not to control my kids. And by control I mean, control that they were safe, that they ate well, that they behaved well, that they made good choices and so on.

My teens were/are unique individuals who have their own strengths and their own journeys in life. The realization was that my role as a parent was to believe and trust that I had a relationship with my teens that was built on honesty, love, respect, and trust.

To nurture a relationship where:

  • that honesty is a two-way thing
  • to always act from a place of love
  • to respect that they should be able to make decisions and suffer the rewards and consequences of those choices (within reason)
  • trust that I can communicate with them so all the above can happen.

To have a good relationship with my teens took an active investment from me to be more than just a mother, I had to ensure that I had invested in my belief that my teens were/are good people who had the right to learn and experience life as per their decisions, not my rules. I joke with my boys a lot. I listen to my boys ALL THE TIME. I admit when I am wrong and I explain that my hesitation to say yes comes from a place of love and protection. I respect and admire my teenagers for the amazing humans they are.

If you are struggling with your teen, please reach out and see if you and I can talk about ways in which you can turn things around. 

Love Jo xx

Much love
Jo @ Talking Teens
hello@talkingteens.com.au
0405 194692

Talking Teens

hello@talkingteens.com.au

www.talkingteens.com.au

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