You deserve love and compassion :)

It’s been one of those mornings. You’re a little overwhelmed with stress or have a lot on your mind, and let’s just say, you’re not exactly feeling positive (though you want to be).

 

So what happens when you are triggered by something hurtful/disappointing/scary and you can’t stop obsessing about it? Are you totally jacking up your vibe?

 

Is Bad Attitude Karma gonna swing back like a boomerang and punch you in the throat?? No, not exactly. :)

Art: Maddie Stock // Little Lungs Design

 "You have the ability to direct your own thoughts; you have the option of observing things as they are, or of imagining them as you want them to be – and whatever option you choose, whether you are imagining or observing, is equally powerful.

 

You have the option of remembering something as it actually occurred or imagining it as you would prefer.

 

You have the option of remembering something that pleased you or remembering something that did not please you.

 

You have the option of anticipating something that you want or anticipating something you do not want."
(Jerry + Esther Hicks)

 

The subconscious mind does not differentiate between what is happening in reality and what is imagined (this is why meditation and positive daydreaming are such powerful modes of healing and creating). When you imagine something wonderful happening, like having a successful sales day, meeting your soulmate, living in your favorite city, or driving your new car, your brain makes a chemical cocktail in response to those feelings and sends it down your spinal cord, and the rest of your body reacts to this endorsement from your brain.

 

Your brain also “fires and wires” new synaptic connections to create neural pathways and neighborhoods so that you have a default setting to return to when you start thinking about your partner, job, finances, etc. This also works for mothers-in-law, Target dressing rooms, and exes – so be careful!

Art: Maddie Stock // Little Lungs Design

 

Here is my "get unstuck"

recipe for when you're

feeling triggered.

 

1. Identify all your feelings.

What are they specifically? Do not judge yourself (like “I’m being silly.. childish.. stupid, etc.” or “I should be over this/bigger than this.”). Just distinguish them.

 

2. Don’t judge yourself. Instead…

Ask yourself when you started to feel the triggering emotion come up. What set it in motion?

 

3. Get to the core wound.

Find that, and things get a LOT clearer and easier to move through. A core wound is something that is an old conversation that started when you were young and it’s still working its way out. For instance, your core wound can be abandonment, being alone/lonely, feeling shamed, blamed, etc. My core wound is the fear of making the people whom I love angry and them withdrawing. We call that being a “Peace at any Price” person! That sucker has taken the controls more than I’ve liked, and even though I’ve done a lot of work around it, it still pops up.

 

4. Now, bring some compassion in.

For yourself, for the situation, for the other person(s). Love yourself, forgive yourself, love them, and forgive them.

 

5. With love and compassion, take 100% responsibility.

This does not mean BLAME. It simply means saying, I take responsibility for how this is occurring for me. I take responsibility for creating a different experience for myself.

 

6. Ask yourself “What do I need right now, going forward?”

Be practical and bold. Sometimes I write this out. Part of taking responsibility for your own happiness is knowing what works for you and being able to ask for it!

 

7. Get into communication with anyone involved.

(If there are others involved…And let’s face it, there often is because we would never get triggered by our own delightful selves, right??) Share what is true for you and share your responsibility. This is not license to blame the other person, but give them enough information so that they can create a different experience with you. Allow them to have their OWN experience and listen to them without judging. Do not sit there and think of what you are going to say next. BE with them. Make it a shared experience.

 

This takes badass vulnerability, people. But it’s worth it.

Art: Maddie Stock // Little Lungs Design

 

And lastly, practice.

 

• I prescribe 15-30 minutes in the morning of reflection: Imagine your situation/life/goals in just the way that would be incredibly awesome for you.

 

• Then take 2-3 inspired actions toward it (that’s right…you can’t just tape that $30,000 check to the mirror and pray “Make it rain, Jesus” while you’re binge-watching Housewives).

 

• And finally, TELL SOMEONE what you are creating. Out loud. In person or on the phone. This creates an “agreement” that is a powerful change agent which will start affecting your experiences quite rapidly.

 

All my love,

Steph

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Maddie Stock // Little Lungs Design

Meet my new favorite illustrator/artist, Australian-based Maddie Stock of Little Lungs Design. I love her bold and emotional illustrations. You can find her on her website, Instagram, and Etsy Store. Go follow her and give her some love!

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Stephanie St.Claire

Sunny Southern California
Orange, California 92866

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