Rise Up and Rebel!

New Hope Counseling, PLLC

'Unleashing the Peace Within'. Vol. 1 Ed. 8

Rise Up and Rebel

This month's newsletter topic is somewhat influenced by the coming US holiday: July the 4th, Independence day. It is also influenced by the great amount of adversity, despair, hopelessness, and acceptance of hopelessness which I see as a therapist on a regular basis coming from many angles, angles such as: incurable disease, repeated hardship, abuse, cancer, incurable diagnosis of a mental disorder (of which there are many ... you'd be surprised at the number), poverty, addiction, and ultimately even death.  At the core of this despair and hopelessness is NOT the hardship of presented adversity, as one might suppose, rather the core of the despair is 'fear' and the attitude of "I can't". 

It is against this fear and its resultant "I can't" shackle which I wish to call an uprising and incite you to rebel. 


The Shackle of Fear

Fear is a dark poison that tells you a bunch of lies, lies which sound real, seem real to the eyes, and often times is believed by others around you. But worse, it is believed by you. Fear shows you the worst of things and what could happen if all things turn against you. The truth is, the very thing you fear could happen and its possibility could occur in your life. 

If it was up to you or me, this dreaded thing wouldn't happen. I would choose to go around it, to avoid it, to select a different path. So would you. Who would choose to have cancer? Who would choose to have their mom incinerated in a freak automobile accident, leaving them alone to face the world? Who would choose to get bullied, to be born poor, to have a mental disorder that seems beyond their control? No one would! That seems cruel to wish it upon a enemy let alone a loved one. 

So the seed of fear takes root when we see such things, and then it grows over time like a vaporous poison that consumes us, though we know it not at all. 

The Handcuff of "I Can't"

Once the fear sets in, and the 'bad' undesired thing happens, then we become bound to the handcuff of 'I Can't'. I can't do this. I can't face the challenge. I can't overcome this. I can't manage the pain, or deal with the hardship. I can't rise. I can't do anything ... till someone takes this burden away from me. 

"I can't" becomes a mindset which then influences our thought processes and grants us a type of tunnel vision. We can't see any solution with such limited sight. If someone tells us that there is an answer, such vision prevents us from listening to it. We are convinced 100% that we 'can't do it', and so we can't. Our view of impossibility become real for us, as real as a solid three foot thick prison wall, but three foot thick prison walls can be overcome - if we have the mind to do so. 

Acceptance of Pain and Suffering

I can't do anything till someone takes this burden from me. Hmm. Let's look at this particular lie which fears causes us to believe, shall we?

There are some limits which cause us to believe the lie. Some of these fear-based limits are about the fear of pain and suffering. Because we are afraid of pain and suffering, like all other fears, we seek to avoid these things. Our fear keeps us from accepting a fundamental truth of life, and that truth is there is pain and suffering. However, pain and suffering doesn't have to be 'bad'. Pain and suffering just is, and if we accept it, overcoming our fear of it, then we no longer have to be afraid of it. Not being afraid of pain and suffering, then we can face the pain and get to the other side of it. 

The other side of pain and suffering is "I Can". I can face the pain. I can face the suffering. I can endure these things, including hardship, and I can rise to the occasion that life now requires of me. I can do it! Yes, hard work might be required. Yes, time and energy will be required. Yes, others might not have to work as hard, but all these things don't matter ... because I 'can do it'. 

Rebel Against Your Shackles

There are experts that will tell you 'you can't'. There are experts that will tell you you have an incurable ailment, whether physical or mental, and you might believe them. And they might be right. We have to accept that, but what does that really mean?

One thing it means is, "You are going to die". Yes, that is true, but that was true before the expert said it. We all die. Don't fear death. Death is a part of life, and the moment that spark of life flows into us, we have a guaranteed time of death. We just don't know when. However, to truly live we must embrace death, not run from it, but also not seek it.

Another thing it means is, "Your life will be harder than some others who don't have the same challenges." Yes, that is also true. But again, that was true before the expert said it. You don't need the promise of a death-free life to be happy, to be you, or to do what you are meant to do. You don't need to have what everyone else has either. That is a lie of fear, yes, but also a lie of envy. You don't need someone else's life in order to live your meaningful and fulfilling life.

We rebel against fear and "I can't" by accepting the set backs and hardships of life, rather than by running from them. We can accept and face our challenges, but which ones? All of them. Let us face and accept all of them, no matter what they are. We can face them, and we can rise to them and even overcome them. We overcome them by not being defeated by them through fear. 

To Rebel Focus on One Thing

So you can't cure your cancer. You can't solve your incurable bipolar disorder, or your borderline personality disorder. You have an addiction. You have back pain, migraine headaches, fibromyalgia, or all of the above. You may be stuck in a job you hate, a life you hate. You hate yourself. You feel that power isn't in you, and it may not be in the doctors who have the expertise that you hope can help. So what do you do?

Well, what does your unafraid heart tell you? What is one thing you feel in your soul that you can do to improve your situation? Don't focus on what someone else can do for you, but do focus on that thing which you can do for yourself. Don't only look outward, but also look inward. Hear that tiny spark of light inside you that has an answer, and then follow it. Hearing that answer and following it till the end is what life is really about anyway. That, my friend, is called 'faith' and faith is the counter to fear. Trust that small and perhaps underfed voice. Once that step is heard and followed, then you will see that there are more steps before you. You are then undertaking a journey of faith. The more steps you walk and complete in faith, the less power fear has over you. The more you walk in faith, the more you recognize that there is indeed an inner force for healing inside you. That force is creative. It finds and shows you answers. It causes you to do what it takes, even though it might be hard work. But when you do the hard work your faith calls you to, it doesn't seem so hard. Then you learn to accept hard work, even joyfully. Such a journey of faith causes you to believe that 'you can.' And you can because you are a rebel! You are a rebel with a cause, a cause which no one can take from you, but which you can surrender in fear and an "I can't" view of life. Throw those things off. You don't need them and they can't help you anyway. 

Remember You Can Do It and There is Help

Sometimes we have a hard time hearing that 'one thing'. That is perhaps where a good listener can come in, a listener who hears you, but you when 'you' are stripped of your fears. Sometimes we get 'stuck' along the way and seem to be lost. Sometimes we seem to be trapped in repeating patterns of life and behaviors, and can't seem to find a way out. Don't worry, and don't despair. You were meant to become unstuck and move forward. Sometimes we might need help though. Let me know if you need that type of help. But I want you to know that I believe you can do it. 


Dennis Tucker, LCSW Therapist/Owner

New Hope Counseling, PLLC

9176 S. 300 W. STE 13, Sandy UT 84070


(801) 979-0610