Yehuda Lave, Spiritual Advisor and Counselor

It is considered a Divine miracle that no two people have the exact same personality traits. We understand this from the fact that no two people even with over six billion on the planet share the same fingerprints. This means that no one else can ever understand us 100%. Even the closest friend never knows us completely. There are always gaps – thoughts, feelings and experiences that we cannot or choose not to share with anyone else.

Having a lover brings us closer. Having friends helps with the lonelyness.

Love Yehuda Lave

They walk among us

     Unusual responses from our 16 year olds some 17

The following questions were in a 
GED examination These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds) GED is Government Equivalency Diploma. [Yikes they are on the street.]
Q. Name the four seasons
A.. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. How is dew formed
A.. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A.. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A.. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)

Q... What happens to your body as you age
A.. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A.. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A.. Premature death 

Q. What is artificial insemination
A... When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A.. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. The abdomen)
A.. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U(wtf!)

Q. What is the fibula?
A.. A small lie

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A.. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A.. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. (That would work)

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A.. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A.. A Roman Emperor. 
(Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A.. Benign is what you will be after you be eight(brilliant)

Q. What is a turbine?
A.. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head. Once a Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head. (now we’re getting somewhere)  GOD BLESS OUR TEACHERS!!!

From Menachem Gottlieb


The police in the Old city have a very bad track record regarding Jews. Almost always when Jews are attacked and call the police, the Jews get arrested. Here is just another example.http://www.israelnationalnews.com/News/News.aspx/233261The article does not mention is this officer that used a taser on a Jew when he was down was a Druzi or not.If this policeman gets shot by an Arab terrorist, does that turn him into a hero?  Druze border police officer murdered a Jew at the Kotel in 2013http://www.jta.org/2013/07/04/news-opinion/israel-middle-east/western-wall-security-guard-charged-with-murderIf this border police officer murderer would have gotten shot by an Arab terrorist, would that have turned him into a hero?

Menachem Gottlieb

MOST POWERFUL, RARE AND INTOXICATING IMAGES FROM THE PAST

Old City Hotels to Be Handed Over to Jewish Ownership

After thirteen years in the Israeli Court system – the district court ruled that the Imperial and Petra Hotels at the Jaffa gate entrance – the “key to the Old City”, are formally and officially in Jewish hands. The Greek Orthodox Church was also told to pay symbolic court costs to the Jewish concerns.

 

It has yet to be determined what will be the the fate of the current tennants, but not withstanding the slight possibility of an appeal by the Greek Orthodox Church in the Supreme Court, it is still a wonderful and uplifting court ruling.

A spokesman from Ateret Cohanim said the following in relation to the news:

“This was a great day…G-D hasn’t forgotten…turning days of fasting to days of joy. This is a perfect answer to recent harsh days in these three weeks.”

The acquisition of the two hotels will dramatically increase the overt Jewish and Israeli presence at the main gate most tourists take to enter into the Old City. More importantly, it shatters the feeling that the “Arab” Shuk is off limits to Jews, breaking down the forced quarter system the British imposed on the Old City during the years they occupied Jerusalem and the Land of Israel. The quarter system was forced on Jerusalem’s Old City in order to control its population. The result lead to a strengthening of the Arab presence at expense of the Jewish population, which was then the majority of the city.

 

 

First Israeli whiskey to be sold online next week

Here’s a deal: The first 100 bottles of Israel’s first single malt whisky, made by the Milk & Honey Distillery in Tel Aviv, will be auctioned off on a Scottish auction site this month.

The hooch will be available on website Whisky Auctioneer from August 11-21, for buyers interested in snagging a bottle of this experimental series. It’s also kosher, certified by the Tel Aviv rabbinate.

The golden moonshine has been aged for three years, meeting the standards of Scottish whiskey. That said, it’s an Israeli-made spirit that the distillers say is mature and complex for its young age, thanks to the warm Israeli climate.

It’s from the first barrel of the Tel Aviv distillery, which was created in January 2014 by M&H distillers Tomer Goren and Jim Swan, a consultant who passed away this past February. Swan specialized in the maturation of whiskey in warm climates, but never got the chance to taste his Sabra creation.

The Milk & Honey malt whiskey was first aged in a 225-liter American oak cask and then distilled for an additional seven months in a former bourbon barrel. The final product has hints of malted barley, cinnamon, pepper, lemon and marzipan.

The M&H Distillery — located in a formerly industrial area of Tel Aviv and with a visitor’s center that is open to the public — will be selling its whiskey commercially in 2019, when the distilled spirits are ready for tasting.

 

These are the days of endless summer-Van Morrison

See you Sunday --Shabbat Shalom

Love Yehuda Lave

Rabbi Yehuda Lave

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