Stress Management Monthly Newsletter

1. Quote of the Month

2. Stress Management Video Tip

"Tips to Control Anger and Frustration"

Do you have a low tolerance for frustration? Does it prompt you to get angry and quickly stressed out? You aren’t alone; it’s human nature to become infuriated and stressed when engaging in stressful situations. If you feel stress in these situations and have a very difficult time taking things in stride then be sure to watch this video.

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3. Parenting Without Stress

Question:

How should we provide inner motivation for young people to make them pray?

My response

If you “make” young people pray, you will be using coercion. With young people, coercion naturally arouses “counterwill,” the natural human tendency to resist being controlled.

In the long run, you will be more effective if you explain the advantages of prayer and engage in the practice. Here are a few ideas to share:

  1. Prayer leads to reflection and self-control, which has an energizing effect and leads to self-discipline for more fruitful, successful, and happier lives.
  2. Prayer prompts people to be nicer. It also reduces aggression and helps improve self-control.
  3. Prayer prompts people to be more forgiving. It helps reduce ill feelings toward others.
  4. Prayer increases trust. This is especially the case when praying with others because it brings people closer together. Social prayer can build close relationships.
  5. Prayer offsets the negative effects of stress. People who pray are less vulnerable to negative health effects.

4. Discipline Without Stress Tip

A reader of my Facebook page has asked the following:

"How is offering choices teaching children that there are some things in life they have to do regardless of their mood or sense of power like bathing, attending school, later holding a job, being responsible for themselves when their choices are limited? If everything become negotiable, if they think they will always have choices, what happens when sometimes in real life there are few or no choices, or they don't like any of the choices?"

Everyone makes choices every awake moment. We make a choice to get out of bed in the morning—or stay in bed, what we eat—or not eat, to brush our teeth—or not to, what to say—or don't say, etc.

Choices are always available, although the consequences of a choice may or may not be desirable.

The concept has to do with responsibility. I expect children to be responsible. The key question is which approach to use: (1) EXTERNAL motivational and coercive approaches such as bribes to control, threats, or imposed punishments, or (2) INTERNAL motivational approaches where young people want to do what the adult wants because young people WANT to.

I don’t use coercive approaches. I show people how to always stay in control without using coercion. The key is to offer options. One option is to elicit from the child her/his own procedure to accomplish a task—as long as both agree that the choice fulfills the responsibility.

Although we don’t usually think about it, EVERY RELATIONSHIP IS A NEGOTIATION. All parties always have choices.

As an important aside, not believing that a person ALWAYS has a choice—regardless of the impulse, situation, or stimulation inevitably leads to a victimhood mentality.

5. Living Without Stress Tip

The first chapter in my Living Without Stress book is about assumptions. People have told me that reading this chapter was worth the investment in the entire book. Assumptions are guesses. Most people cannot articulate their motivation or don't want to. My wife has written several novels, and motivation of characters is the key factor in fiction. I write non-fiction and NEVER assume one's motivation. I focus on the behavior, which is the reason that all my books are about "How to" discipline, parent, and live—all without stress.

A few months ago my, wife and I went on a riverboat cruise in Eastern Europe to celebrate our wedding anniversary. Among the many couples we met were a couple from Perth Australia. In one conversation, we found that Roy Huntington is in the fishing business. He owns a number of fisheries around the world. My wife started to tell Roy about her first ocean fishing experience. After a few minutes into Evelyn's story, Roy said, "I don't fish. I'm in the fishing business."

It's rather natural to assume that someone who is in the business of salmon and sardines would go fishing. WRONG ASSUMPTION.

If you are interested in seeing how much trouble people get into by making false assumption, consider reading chapter one in the above book.

6. eLearning: Discipline Online

Discipline Online, the Internet course, shows how to handle every discipline/behavior problem in schools, homes, and in the workplace. Originally developed to reduce the "sink or swim" approach to teaching, the program is effective in any behavioral situation.

If you are a classroom teacher, you joined the only profession that does NOT teach the most essential skill for success, namely, walking into a classroom for the first time as a new teacher and having a SYSTEM to handle every behavior or discipline problem. Learn how at an incredibly low investment in this online course.

7. Charity for U.S. Schools

Any U.S. pre K-12 grade school can receive materials at no charge. Visit Discipline without Stress.

8. Speaking and Presenting

If you are interested in hiring a speaker to reduce stress in living, parenting, or in education, visit MarvinMarshall.com

9. What People Say

"Your book Discipline Without Stress.... was a gold mine to me when I found it. I just wish I had found it 40 years ago when I began teaching. However, the principles can be applied easily in any situation in life that deals with people. For that, I an immensely grateful as it has enriched my life and the life of others."

— Boni McKee

10. Investment for Schools

There are only 8 DVDs left for the school staff development DVD program. The investment for the remaining ones is available at the fire sale investment of $499 rather than $995.

Check it out!

Get It Now!

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Questions, Thoughts, or Comments?

Don't be shy, I'd love to hear from you! Feel free to contact me directly at Marv@MarvinMarshall.com

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Dr. Marvin Marshall

 

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